How do you feel when you get a thank you note? I mean a real, personalized note, not a mass, pre-set one or an autoreply “thank you.” Studies from the American Heart Association and published in the Journal of Happiness Studies found that “the practice of gratitude is associated with many positive effects in a person’s physical and mental health. Expressing gratitude can improve sleep, mood and immunity, and can decrease depression, anxiety, chronic pain and disease.” It strengths relationships, heals emotional wounds, and gives you a chance to say things that you want the reader to keep in mind.
A Dutch “6-week gratitude intervention” found that “6 weeks of consistent gratitude intervention is an effective, low-intensity intervention for enhancing mental well-being,” including “appreciation of simple pleasure.” They said their follow up 6 months later “suggests that it is possible to promote a lasting appreciative perspective on life.”
A time of profound stress
With all the stress and division in the world today, especially in the United States but around the world as polarization seems to be rampant and suicide rates are too high, strategies that can reduce the tension, fear, anxiety and depression, and bring people closer together are critical. As the Dutch study put it, “mental health is more than the absence of mental illness and comprises emotional, social and psychological well-being as well.”
The American Psychological Association’s annual “Stress in America” 2023 study – even before the tumultuous 2024 presidential election, found that “The COVID-19 pandemic, global conflicts, racism and racial injustice, inflation, and climate-related disasters are all weighing on the collective consciousness of Americans.” Though life post-covid has seemed “normal” most of the time, there’s a collective PTSD – post-traumatic stress disorder – that has gripped the psyche of so many of us, the effects of which “have altered our mental and physical health,” including rates of loneliness.
They cite particular trends in people 35-44 years old showing an increase in chronic illnesses — to 58% in 2023 from 48% in 2019 –and “the highest increase in mental health diagnoses—from 31% reported in 2019 to 45% in 2023—though adults ages 18 to 34 still reported the highest rate of mental illnesses at 50% in 2023.” These prolonged intense levels of stress bring a host of risks, from “mak(ing) us feel more sensitive even to daily hassles,” to our physical health, “including digestive issues, heart disease, weight gain, and stroke.”
A thank you note as stress-reduction and relationship builder
We have agency, though, as those gratitude studies show, expressing thanks and appreciation reduce stress and also help build the relationship. They may help build a bridge between people who disagree.
Sending an authentic thank you note – either by email, text or a physical, handwritten note via the mail – boosts both your mood and the recipient’s mood and might even help your health. Some studies found that the recipient had a more pleasant response to a thoughtful thank you note than the sender expected.
After receiving a gift, referencing the actual gift lets them know you opened it and appreciate it, and gives you a chance to express how meaningful the gestures was to you.
After a job interview, it gives you a chance to reiterate a few points talked about in your interview, either about the role and your suitability and enthusiasm for it, or something you discovered you have in common that came up in the conversation. It reminds them of your value and the conversation you had, and gives them something to respond to, keeping the dialogue going.
Saying “thank you” for what is going well – no matter how big or small, including a sunny day – to people even for little actions that make your day a bit brighter or easier, can boost your mood and theirs. You never know if they are having a tough time and your note added a bit of sunshine to it. Focusing on the positive helps you identify solutions too; there’s a practice called “solutions-focused therapy.”
Thanks for reading and for saying “thanks” to people in your life.
Maybe if dozens of us express gratitude in some way or another at the same time, we can lift the collective psyche. The Dutch showed that it worked in their group for 6 weeks.