The American job market, like anything else, has its ups and downs. As strong as it’s been after the greatest four years in history – job creation, hiring, and – most of all – consistency, it’s not an unsafe bet that things will, to some extent, unravel. Normally, this could be a small, gradual process, but given what we can expect to be the chaotic nature of the next administration, not to mention the fastest pace and most unpredictable nature of change, this will likely be even more of a challenge. That’s not a guess; there’s precedence. After 27+ years as an independent career coach, I’m rock certain on this one.
Job Seeker’s Circle of Support: The Family
More than ever, the job seeker’s family can and should be a big part of the job search process, not so much in the foreground, but certainly in the background. Here’s how the family can best support the job seeker.
Understand the stress.
Job searching is a stressful thing in a good market, let alone otherwise. So, the first thing the family should do is to understand this and figure out how to reduce the job seeker’s stress. For example, is the job seeker the one who also sits down and pays the monthly bills? Or calls the plumber? Or plans functions? Or brings the car in for service? OK, spouse or partner, take over here. These might be little things, but they add up. Take them off your mate’s shoulders.
Set realistic expectations.
Chances are the job search will not be short. The current average length of unemployment is 23.2 weeks (Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics). While you can do things to shorten your search, the worst thing you can do is expect that. You’ll reach a frustration level that you won’t be able to manage. Get real. Patience, in this situation, is truly a virtue.
Help your partner focus.
Be there to review what’s been done each day, to help your partner evaluate what’s been done, and to help set objectives moving forward. You can’t be 100 percent objective – you’re family, after all – but you can be a great mirror or sounding board.
Create some diversions.
While you’re helping to focus – paradoxical as this may seem – find ways to take the job seeker’s mind off things. After an intense day of searching, sending letters, making phone calls, going on interviews, or whatever, buy two tickets to a movie, have some neighbors “pop in” for coffee, go for a bicycle ride, or take the kids to the park. On a weekly basis, engage in activities like going to a museum or on a day trip. You and the job seeker in your life have to decompress regularly.
Give your partner space.
Your family’s job seeker now has no office to go to, so they need some space at home to work without distraction, noise, or interruption – a sanctuary, if you will. Stay out of it while the business of the search is going on during the day – and make sure the kids understand that, too.
But stay close.
Here, now, comes another paradox: while you’re giving space, stay close. Just be ready to do things when your partner needs them. For example, you might do the next round of researching companies to prepare for the next round of letters and follow-up phone calls.
Avoid arguments, spats, disagreements, squabbles, and out-and-out fights as much as possible.
They are – for sure – part of everyday life to some degree or another, but if there’s ever a time to back off and give in, this is it.
Establish a schedule and stick to it.
This is critical, and you and the kids need to respect it and help uphold it.
Encourage and reinforce your partner’s good behavior.
This goes for stuff like eating and sleeping right, working out, sticking to the schedule, and so on. Think of yourself as a coach and your partner as the player.
Networking, networking, networking!
Every job seeker knows the importance of networking, so you can play a big role by tapping into your network as well. You can conceivably double your active contacts by doing this.
Be thrifty but not cheap.
Of course this is a time to cut back on expenses, but don’t deny yourself and your family the little things. You’re in a bind, not in prison, and you still deserve some indulgences.
All in all, a team game.
All of these considerations and accommodations matter a whole lot. While the job search is still the responsibility of the job seeker, the support structure can make all the difference in the world.
That’s the part that’s up to you.