Mompreneurs face a lot of unique challenges, from figuring out how to effectively work from home to dealing with the stigma that often comes with being a working mother.
The greatest challenge of all, though, is the false dichotomy that mompreneurs only have two options. They can either have a great career or neglect their kids. Or, they can focus on their kids and not have a job.
This false dichotomy can create feelings of guilt and prevent mompreneurs from achieving their full potential. The simple fact of the matter is that you can have a successful career and not neglect your kids. You don’t have to pick between one or the other.
Dr. Dympna Weil, MD, and Physician Wellness Advocate reiterates, “So many times when we’ve been told one narrative, and we’ve been listening to that same story for so long, it becomes a belief that we do not question. Our brains accept it as a truth. And so we cannot see any other possibilities. We get stuck. Society tells us you can be a good mom or you can be a good entrepreneur – but not both as an mompreneur. But is that even true? Curiosity goes a long way in helping us gently question that belief. And then we can start to see that maybe it isn’t 100% true.”
Understanding The False Dichotomy
The idea that women can only choose between a career or their children has been around for some time. In 2016, The Atlantic ran an article titled “When Women Choose Children Over a Career” that highlighted the experiences of women who chose to opt out of their career path after becoming mothers.
A 2013 article from The Guardian poignantly shares the story of a mom who resigned from work after realizing she didn’t know what her daughter was eating for any of her weekly meals.
On the opposite side of the spectrum are those who state it’s okay for women to choose a career instead of children, with the argument that there is no need to conform to social norms of having a family and that one’s own business is their child.
The Impact Of The False Dichotomy On Mompreneurs
Over and over again, women are presented with the argument that it’s impossible to be a good mom and be successful in their careers. Only one part of life will get the attention it deserves, to the detriment of the other.
In many ways, the arguments that women must choose between motherhood and a career have created a new social norm. 2023 saw the United States’ general fertility rate decrease by 3% in comparison to 2022, resulting in a new historic low. An analysis by Pew notes that women marry and have children later in life, in part due to increased workforce participation.
There’s nothing wrong with women deciding when they will have children in relation to the timing of their careers. However, the consistent messaging of the false dichotomy and its impact on societal trends as a whole can be discouraging for women who want to be mompreneurs while still raising their kids at home.
Overcoming The False Dichotomy
In reality, there are many examples of women who successfully navigate both motherhood and entrepreneurship, joyfully claiming the title of mompreneur. Of course, adding a kid to your business path doesn’t mean you can try to keep everything the same as when you just had your business to worry about (or vice versa).
In an interview with Elizabeth McCravy, Joy Michelle shares how becoming a mother led her to pivot her entrepreneurial endeavors from wedding photography to running a YouTube channel and offering online courses focused on teaching photographers and entrepreneurs. For her, recognizing when it was time to pivot (as well as when to devote time exclusively to her newborn during the initial months after giving birth) was key to maintaining balance and fulfillment.
A Forbes article highlights the experiences of multiple mompreneurs, who attest that becoming a mother has benefited them in their careers by helping them develop tenacity and empathy, instilling a greater sense of discipline, becoming more patient, more creative, better at prioritizing, and even better at finding joy.
Lindsey Paoli, Marriage and Family Therapist, founder of the Rewire MasterMIND for entrepreneurial women, and mompreneur, agrees: “I have found both professionally and personally that the unique demands of juggling both entrepreneurship and motherhood make one very attuned to prioritizing the small moments. When your business and life are focused on quality over quantity, they both benefit.”
Not Letting Yourself Get Impacted By The False Dichotomy
While there are plenty of excellent examples of successful mompreneurs, it can be hard not to feel overwhelmed by so many voices proclaiming the false dichotomy of needing to choose between a great career and being a great parent.
So what can you do? Aside from focusing on yourself and the positive experiences of other mompreneurs, it’s important to recognize that no two paths are exactly alike. Kelly Nolan notes that deciding whether to stay in your career, scale down, or leave it entirely can be dependent on factors like your financial situation, your stress toll, or simply wanting more time with your kids.
Today’s tech options have given mompreneurs more options than ever before. Growing numbers of hybrid and completely remote workers illustrate how mothers can run their businesses from their own homes, making it easier to find time for their children.
Of course, succeeding in both roles requires discipline. Joy Michelle noted that strict scheduling played a vital part in helping her find a balance between her career and motherhood. You need to find the solutions that work for you and your family, which could be the same as (or completely different from) other mompreneurs. But by maintaining a positive attitude and developing a proactive approach to managing your time, you can achieve balance.
A Better Choice
Mompreneurs, don’t give in to the harmful voices surrounding you saying that you can’t be a good mom and a good entrepreneur. Carefully balancing your career and your kids takes practice and a lot of work in and of itself, but it can be done.
By taking a thoughtful approach to how you divide yourself between your family and career as a mompreneur, you can find the solutions that work best for your situation and help you thrive in all areas.