“There is a crack in everything. That’s how the light gets in.” – Leonard Cohen
I am neurotic.
Well fairly neurotic. Definitely sometimes reactive and emotional. Passionate?
Like many who worry too much, feel things deeply, internalize feedback and see storm clouds gathering on the sunniest days I’ve often viewed this trait as a liability. But like Sigmund Freud, I’ve come to understand that neuroticism, like a demanding friend, brings creative gifts along with its challenges.
Neurotic is a net benefit to the species
After 300,000 years and about 12,000 generations of homo sapiens, anxious and temperamental people are still with us (about 15% – 20% of the population, according to standard measures of what psychologists now call emotional stability or ES). So there must be natural benefits that accrue to our species from low emotional stability. Our anxious ancestors all survived because they were the ones scanning the horizon for threats, making contingency plans, and ensuring the tribe thrived through their “defensive pessimism.”
On the downside, the evidence is that neuroticism leads to poorer relationship health both at work and home. These people can be hard to soothe, seem moody and can come across as too intense (think Woody Allen). The really bad news is that divorce rates are higher, there is a greater chance of depression, and (gulp) a slightly earlier death.
On the other hand, research has shown that neurotic individuals are more adept at detecting danger and reacting swiftly to risks. In the markets, investors who are more open and neurotic gain higher returns compared to the market benchmark. In contrast it’s the confident and sensation-seeking personality types who engage in excessive trading, and produce poorer returns.
Are Creative Geniuses More Often Neurotic?
Freud believed complete elimination of neurosis was neither possible nor desirable. He saw value in anxiety and internal conflict – what he called “ordinary unhappiness” – as vital for personal growth and cultural achievement. Freud saw that creative and intellectual achievements often spring from sublimated neurotic energy: think Sir Isaac Newton, Vincent van Gogh, Steve Jobs, Kristen Bell or Radiohead’s Thom Yorke – their over-thinking tendencies fuelled extraordinary creativity. W.H. Auden noted, “Anxiety is the hand maiden of creativity” and research backs this up – low ES is associated with deeper information processing and enhanced creativity.
On the other hand, many psychologists believe over-thinking, worry and anxiety kill creativity. But there just may be something in the idea that holding a problem for a long time opens up new possibilities.
I see this in my own work. My habits of rumination, turning problems over and over in my mind like worry stones, sometimes leads to deeper insights and more creative solutions. Often seen as maladaptive, reflective thinking can drive deeper learning from past experiences and avoid future errors. While this can trigger anxiety, for the ambitious and driven amongst us it turns into a strong performance driver. The fear of failing, being exposed or nagging doubts that colleagues think you’re underperforming can serve as an incredibly powerful motivator.
Doubts, heightened sensitivity to risk and ruminative thinking are actually valuable in roles that demand analytical precision and divergent thinking, such as research or innovation. Roles in which low ES individuals can do well include academics, entrepreneurs, writers, artists, freelancers – even accountants. These tasks require awareness of risk (and it’s flip-side, opportunity) and problems, and demand critical review, but also allow time and space to work independently, without having to mask inner anxieties. Given the flexibility to ponder, circumnavigate possible disruptions, think reflectively, low ES people have the possibility to challenge conventional thinking.
Self-criticism fuels the fire for persistent self-improvement, and being open to and even eager for feedback, which makes low ES people particularly responsive to coaching. In a world in which narcissism is on the rise humility and preparedness to accept one’s own flaws and failings can be a competitive advantage.
Individuals with low ES are also more attuned to the emotions of others. Research suggests they excel at recognizing subtle social cues and empathizing with others, making them effective in roles requiring high emotional intelligence. When leading a team, heightened sensitivity to your own and others’ emotional states helps a leader notice when someone is struggling before they voice it. As the Australian wellbeing researcher Kristin Naragon-Gainey notes, they have more experience handling negative emotions, which can make them more empathic and understanding of other people’s struggles.
Living with the real you.
Studies of personality change show that low ES people most want to reduce their propensity to angst, over-think and worry. There is good and bad news on whether, and how, it’s possible.
The accumulation of evidence suggests you can meaningful change your personality. Imagine, for example, 100 people in a line, ranked from really low emotional stability to really high emotional stability. Science tells us that it’s possible to move up about 30 places in the line.
On the other hand, nobody said it would be easy. The effort to learn new patterns of thinking and behaving, and even making efforts to move to different life circumstances, is frankly beyond most people (otherwise New Year’s resolutions would have the world more sober, healthier, less weighty and much more loving).
The key isn’t to fight against these neurotic tendencies but to harness them.
The first step is to really be honest about how you show up. Psychologist Professor Tomas Chamorro-Premuzic notes “It is hard to think of any effective leadership development intervention that does not boost self-awareness”. Feedback from loved ones and colleagues is useful, as are well-researched personality tools.
The second it to get your thinking out of your head and onto paper. Simply writing your thoughts and feelings down can have the effect of reducing their emotional weight. It also allows you to see and challenge thinking patterns that tend towards the catastrophic. Highlighting words like “always” and “never” show how you are painting the world in black and white.
Getting stuff on paper lets you do a realistic threat assessment. This is a clinical technique that forces systematic examination of worrying thoughts. Responding to a sudden call to meet your boss about an upcoming presentation can be channelled away from fear:
· Note the fear: “Does she think it’s terrible?”
- Check evidence: “We’ve already been through it and rehearsed it, and she said nothing then.”
- Assess real probability: “It’s unlikely to be a major rewrite.”
- Evaluate true impact: “Even if it was, firing me is out of the picture.”
- Review coping abilities: “I can be curious about what she wants, and see how I can help.”
Meditation and mindfulness really do make a difference. Learning to stay present, in your body, and slow your reactions produces a calm mind.
Finally, look to aligning your role with your strengths. Look for positions that don’t have crazy stressful demands, that value risk assessment, responsiveness and sensitivity. Even more, look for bosses who are calm, supportive and interested in your development.
For those who share this trait, I offer this perspective: Your worry isn’t weakness; it’s a tool for deeper understanding. Your sensitivity isn’t a flaw; it’s a gateway to greater empathy. Your self-doubt isn’t a barrier; it’s an invitation to continuous growth.
Steven Sondheim said it well: