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Prefer To Skip Holiday Parties? Here’s Why You Shouldn’t

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Holiday season is here, and with it comes a packed calendar of social gatherings. For some, these events are a chance to celebrate and connect. For others, they’re more like forced fun—a cocktail of awkward small talk, overplayed holiday tunes, and fake smiles. But before you write off the next invite, consider this: these gatherings might be the perfect setting to find the person who could help your career take off. With 61% of mentoring relationships forming organically, holiday parties offer an incredible opportunity to meet fascinating people who could play a pivotal role in your growth. It’s easier than you think.

Mentorship Is All About Relationships

Mentorship isn’t about asking someone to formally take you under their wing; it’s about building relationships. And where better to start than at a casual event filled with diverse people in a relaxed setting? These parties are a goldmine for sparking conversations that could turn into meaningful connections. Click here to read my Forbes article on starting a conversation with a stranger.

But here’s the trick—don’t lead with “Will you be my mentor?” That’s the conversational equivalent of asking someone to take on a second job. Read more about that here. Instead, focus on being curious, authentic, and approachable.

Avoid the Formal “Ask”

We’ve all seen it: someone zeroes in on a person they admire and makes a bold, direct request. It’s slimy and cringe-worthy. While it’s well-meaning, asking outright for mentorship can be overwhelming and put the other person on the spot. Instead, keep it natural.

Holiday parties are the perfect setting for this. Start with simple conversation by looking for commonalities, a favorite color they are wearing or food on their plate (having conversation starters is key). Look for overlap in interest, whether it’s shared professional interests, a passion for a cause, or even a love of the same Netflix series. This shared connection is the starting point for a genuine relationship.

And remember, mentorship is a two-way street. Don’t just focus on what you hope to gain. Think about what you can offer in return. Maybe it’s insights from your own expertise, a connection that could help their work, or simply being someone who listens and engages thoughtfully. When you lead with value, the relationship becomes more balanced and authentic. You become someone people want to be around.

Build Trust Through Small Actions

Mentorship thrives on three things: knowing, liking, and trusting someone. These don’t happen overnight, but the seeds can be planted in small, meaningful ways.

For example, if they’ve shared an idea or given a talk that inspired you, mention it. Ask thoughtful questions that show you’ve paid attention to their work. If they’re active on LinkedIn, engage with their posts—genuinely, not just with a generic “Great post!” message. These small actions build trust and signal that you’re genuinely interested in their ideas and insights. Try to create a ping-pong in the conversation, where the comments go back and forth.

The Takeaway

For those who see holiday parties as forced fun, it’s time to reframe them. These gatherings are more than just drinks and awkward moments by the buffet—they’re an organic opportunity to meet potential mentors. By focusing on building genuine relationships, rather than making direct requests, you’ll find that these connections can grow into something meaningful over time.

So, the next time you’re tempted to RSVP “no,” think twice. The person you meet over a shared laugh or an engaging conversation might just become a lifelong advocate—or even your next mentor. It all starts with one authentic interaction.

Make it count.

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