This past week, President Trump and Elon Musk began firing employees across the federal government, targeting workers that had been on the job less than two years. Announcements came quickly: some employees at the CDC had less than two hours to collect their belongings and exit the building. Firings impacted over 3,000 workers at the U.S. Forest Service, over 1,000 at the Department of Veterans Affairs, and 405 staffers at Homeland Security (according to reports from Reuters). These firings are in addition to the deferred resignation program. So far, about 75,000 people had accepted that offer as of last week, according to White House reports. Elsewhere, tech companies like Meta, Google and Workday are continuing job cuts. Meta layoffs this week impacted 5% of its staff. For those who are facing layoffs, in the government or elsewhere, a mental game begins. Whether with a selected severance package or an unwanted kick out the door, the change created from separation can feel destabilizing and chaotic. Anger, frustration, confusion: the list of emotions are as varied as the people who were once employed within the organization. Layoffs can create significant psychological distress, financial uncertainty, and even questions about your value/contribution as an individual. If you or someone you know has been laid off, what’s the best way to find stability and strength in the midst of the chaos?
Beyond a Layoff: Understanding the Mental Game
According to Psychology Today, unwanted change (like the loss of a job) can be a traumatic event that leaves people feeling a sense of isolation. And unworthiness. After all, for the former employees at Meta: were you really an “underperformer”? How does that label feel? An ex-Meta staffer says on Blind (an anonymous app for workers in the tech space) , “[I] consistently exceeded expectations multiple years, had a baby in 2024, got laid off.” Another anonymous former Meta staffer told Business Insider, “The hardest part is Meta publicly stating they’re cutting low performers, so it feels like we have the scarlet letter on our backs. People need to know we’re not underperformers.”
Bad decisions can happen to good performers at any time. The key to the mental game, in the midst of a layoff, is to look beyond the labels. Understanding that what you do and who you are (your worth as an individual) are two separate things. Choices of others, especially choices that were made without your input, can not define you. Unless, of course, you let them. Who decides your value, your contribution, your worth? You do. That’s true, but only 100% of the time. Even when times are tough.
The Journey to Strength and Stability After a Layoff
Anger, chaos and confusion are natural reactions to a layoff. Existential questions emerge: “What did I do to deserve this?” “Why is this happening to me?” “Why me, why this, why now?” (Trust me, I’ve been there – on both sides of the decision).
Andrew Lennox, a 10-year Marine veteran, was part of a new supervisor training program at the Veterans Affairs Medical Center in Ann Arbor, Michigan. He said he received an email “out of the blue” Thursday evening informing him that he was being terminated, according to the Associated Press.
“In order to help veterans, you just fired a veteran,” said Lennox, 35, a former USMC infantryman who served in Iraq, Afghanistan and Syria. “This is my family, and I would like to do this forever,” he told the Associated Press.
For those facing layoffs, finding support is the first step, according to Psychology Today. Family, friends, coaches and counselors can help – providing space to process the emotional after-effects. The following considerations can help you to find stability after a layoff:
- Remember that Who You Are is Not What You Do: Your salary is not your soul. We are called human beings, not human doings, even though it sometimes seems that what we do is who we are. Who you are is someone who has value – even when change might lead you to think otherwise. The good thing to remember about thoughts is: they can change. Neuroplasticity (the ability of our minds to grow, learn and adapt) exists. Even in the midst of difficult news, unwanted decisions, or regrettable restructuring, remember: you are not your circumstances. Remind yourself that your value is not found inside a business decision. Your values don’t have to change just because your employment status did. You have value, you have a contribution to make – even if it can’t be at the place where you once worked. Do not judge yourself based on a single decision – especially a decision made by others – as a measure of your worth.
- The Science of Change: inside the thoughts and feelings that can dominate our minds after a layoff, it’s useful to remember how thoughts work: they can change. Lots of folks talk about mindset; but the fact is that our minds are never set. New thoughts are always on their way – especially when we see that the way we think about ourselves after a layoff is (wait for it) just a thought. While not trying to minimize the experience, or dismiss our feelings, we see something inside the science of change: namely, that everything you are feeling is A-OK. The sense of loss and frustration is normal, after a layoff. Get comfortable with the mess – embrace it. Recognize the thoughts that create those feelings, and quit trying to change them – trying to find a different “mindset”. Chasing a mindset is like trying to change the wind: you have around 60,000 thoughts per day. Real change happens when you accept your experience, even when it might be negative, frustrating or uncomfortable. Why? Because understanding the way things really work is the first step towards making things work for you.
- Powerful Questions During Times of Change: I’m not proud of it. I was yelling at my coach. In an important session via Zoom, I was angry! Frustrated! I didn’t want this situation – life was giving me lemons and I didn’t feel like making lemonade – or anything else. Can you relate? My coach calmly looked at me and she acknowledged my frustration. She took a pause and asked, slowly, “So….What’s good about this?” The pattern interrupt was a powerful one. She reminded me of what I wrote about in my book, Easier, which is all about a career transition after an unwanted layoff. “Do you recall the YAHOO strategy?”, she asked. Well, of course I did – I even recalled the chapter where I wrote about it (page 53, for the true believers out there). YAHOO stands for “You Always Have Other Options.” From a place of compassion and caring (two emotions I was unable to offer myself at this time), my coach reminded me that “everything has a front and a back – and sometimes multiple sides”. She was saying that there are good things even in the midst of bad circumstances. And looking at the YAHOO strategy is a great way to discover new possibilities, even when a door closes on an aspect of your career.
It’s easy to be hard on yourself when you are facing a layoff. Misunderstandings around your worth and your value can create a mental game that’s not worth playing. Instead of trying to control your mindset, step into understanding: understand that how you are feeling is normal. Accept it. Accept your experience, if you can – and remember that the thoughts and feelings that seem so real and prevalent and all-encompassing are nothing more and nothing less than thoughts. Strength and stability comes from understanding: understanding that you are resilient. You are resourceful. You are more than the decisions of others. And you are more than your thoughts. Remember the YAHOO strategy – because you are surrounded by options, starting with how you show up inside your circumstances. If you find yourself able to ask, “What’s good about this?”, you’re looking in the right direction. You might even start to see a new path forward – a way to move from a state of reflection (“How am I feeling right now?”) towards a state of action. When you are facing a layoff, find strength and stability in the support of others – and remember that you are more than someone else’s decision.