Let me give you some advice, the political consultant told Joe Scarborough when he was running for a seat in the U.S. House of Representatives. Don’t speak when you enter the room. Listen. And when you leave, people will say, “What a smart young man.” Scarborough served four terms in the House and later became the host of Morning Joe, where he told this story.
One of Scarborough’s guests, Congressman Tom Suozzi of New York, said that listening to people will give you the confidence you need because you will know the issues and how your constituents feel about them. This is sound advice for not just politicians but anyone in a leadership position. Listen, learn and demonstrate that you know what you are talking about.
Show respect
Listening to someone is a sign of respect. As an executive coach, I have worked with many very effective leaders who suffer from the malady of falling in love with the sound of their own voice. They would rather speak first, last and always. This habit is fatal if you want to build consensus. Sure, you can get compliance because people don’t want to buck the boss. They will, however, withhold their commitment.
I have seen leaders at town halls or factory floors do what the consultant advised. Listen to what people are saying. Some leaders fear that if thorny issues are raised that cannot be solved, they will look bad. This thought is short-sighted. If an employee raises a tough issue, consider what they are experiencing. They and their colleagues are bearing the brunt of a bad situation. It is the least the leader can do, but give them time to speak.
Wise leaders will also ask them to propose solutions, and in some cases, those solutions can be acted upon with alacrity—and even better, implemented by the very people who suggested them.
Summarize What’s Been Said
One more bit of advice comes from a story of a reporter friend of mine who attended a listening session with then-Governor Bill Clinton, who was touring the country informally testing the waters for a possible presidential run. My friend told me that Clinton asked questions and listened carefully, and then he did something that amazed my friend. After the session, Clinton went around the room, pointing at each person who had spoken and summed up their comments. That’s a listener. And a communicator who knows how to get others to listen to him.
Again, as a coach, I have asked leaders to practice summarizing the key points of a meeting. This practice assures people that you have listened to and know the issues.
Make Yourself Heard
You can employ this technique as someone other than the leader. If you feel your voice is not being heard, feel free to insert yourself into the conversation by commenting on the points others have made and then adding your own perspective. When you speak up, you demonstrate that you are part of the team and have your contributions to make.
Listening leads to understanding, which can, in turn, lead to great self-confidence and lay the foundation for people’s confidence in you.