More than a quarter (27%) of working moms rely on financial help from their parents regularly or occasionally—but the burden is worse for younger moms. In 2024, nearly half (49%) of mothers under 30 admitted needing financial support, often citing the weight of rising childcare costs and student loan debt. The reliance on parental assistance drops significantly with age, averaging 23% for mothers in their 30s and declining to just 16% among parents in their 40s.
For many mothers, the added societal expectation to “do it all”—balance careers, raise children, and build a secure future for their families—only heightens the pressure. What’s worse, relying on parental financial support can sometimes strain these women’s family relationships, leading to blurred boundaries and allowing parents to overstep into other areas of their children’s lives.
The new year offers working mothers a chance to reassess their finances and parent relationships, setting fresh goals with a focus on clarity, boundaries, and a renewed mindset. Kumiko Love is an accredited financial counselor and national best-selling author of My Money My Way: Taking Back Control of Your Financial Life. After working in the finance industry for over ten years, she founded The Budget Mom, a community of millions of women on their path to financial freedom. Love provides practical advice for women aiming to balance financial support from their parents with maintaining independence and staying at the head of their household.
Common Mistakes and Warning Signs
Some cultures emphasize intergenerational support as a family norm, while others prioritize individual independence, Love explains. However, across all cultures, she often observes the same financial mistakes parents and their adult children make when arranging financial support. “One common mistake is not setting clear boundaries or terms, leading to misunderstandings and resentment. Another is failing to prioritize the parents’ financial stability, such as dipping into retirement savings to help their children.”
According to Love, there are warning signs that financial help might be doing more harm than good for either party, including:
- Parents dipping into savings or retirement to provide help.
- Adult children avoid efforts to improve their financial situation.
- Resentment, guilt, or strained relationships stemming from the arrangement.
The Emotional and Financial Risks
Financial help from parents can provide short-term relief, but it also comes with financial and emotional pitfalls. “Financially, parents may jeopardize their own stability by dipping into retirement funds, savings, or investments, potentially compromising their ability to maintain independence later in life. This can create a cyclical burden, where parents who supported their children might eventually need financial assistance themselves,” adds Love. It can also create dependency for adult children, delaying financial growth and straining family resources needed for other priorities. Emotionally, such arrangements may trigger guilt, resentment, or power imbalances, leading to tension and undermining autonomy. Another issue: unequal support among siblings can spark jealousy or family rifts.
To avoid all this, Love believes working mothers must set boundaries, starting with clear and honest communication. They should:
- Clearly define their needs, specifying whether the support is for a one-time loan or ongoing assistance for specific expenses,
- Share a transparent financial plan to help parents understand the goals and how their support fits into the bigger picture,
- Establish terms, such as whether the support is a gift or a loan with repayment timelines, and
- Ensure the arrangement doesn’t compromise the working mother’s ability to make independent decisions about finances or life.
Regular check-ins, written agreements, and formalized repayment plans help everyone stay aligned as situations change. Love continues, “Families should set clear expectations for both parties to feel respected. For example, parents can offer help with the condition that their financial needs come first, while adult children can commit to using the support to achieve specific, measurable goals.” Specific, measurable goals could include parents agreeing to provide short-term support only if their retirement savings remain untouched, while adult children commit to funding a 529 plan after achieving financial stability.
Building a Financial Plan for Independence
The Budget Mom website offers several tools and resources to foster independence and confidence, including a budgeting workbook. In their strategy to transition from reliance on parental financial support to independence, Love explains that working mothers must:
- Create a zero-based budget that aligns every dollar of income to specific expenses and savings goals,
- Prioritize building a manageable emergency fund of $500 to $1,000 as an initial safety net, then gradually expand it into a reserve covering three to six months of living expenses,
- Focus on tackling high-interest debt and costs that make the greatest impact, such as childcare and housing,
- Increase income through education, career development, or side hustles, and
- Incorporate automated savings, such as scheduling regular contributions to savings accounts or retirement funds.
“The key is to use the support as a stepping stone, not a permanent crutch,” Love explains. These actions accelerate financial progress, provide economic security, boost confidence, ensure consistency, reduce reliance on willpower, and provide free income for savings and investment opportunities. The most critical advice Love gives working mothers navigating financial help from their parents is remembering that this is part of their journey—not the destination.
“Asking for help doesn’t mean you’ve failed—it’s a step toward building a more stable future for yourself and your family. Focus on gratitude instead of guilt, and use this time to learn and grow. Shifting your mindset from ‘I’m dependent’ to ‘I’m taking steps toward independence’ can help reframe the situation in a more empowering way.”