Every year, millions of us make promises to ourselves: “This will be the year I finally…” Yet, as the months roll on, those promises often dissolve into the busyness of life, buried under emails, obligations, and—if we’re honest—fear.
Take Sarah, a senior executive I coached last year. She’d been sitting on a bold business idea for over five years—a strategy she knew could drive significant growth in her organization. But every time she inched closer to pitching it to her CEO, self-doubt crept in. What if I fail? What if I’m wrong? What if I’m not good enough? And so, another year passed, her idea still tucked away in the corner of her mind, gathering dust.
Sarah’s story isn’t unique. Whether it’s speaking up in a meeting, starting a side hustle, writing a book, or having a difficult conversation, we all have something we’ve been avoiding. Not because we don’t know what to do, but because we lack the courage to actually do it.
This gap between knowing and doing is what I call the ‘Courage Gap’. And it’s not just holding us back personally—it’s holding back teams, businesses, and entire organizations from reaching their full potential.
Procrastination Isn’t About Laziness—It’s About Emotions
Research from Dr. Tim Pychyl, an expert on procrastination, reveals a truth we often overlook: procrastination isn’t about laziness. It’s an emotional regulation problem. We delay tasks not because we can’t do them, but because we want to avoid the short-term discomfort they create—fear of failure, fear of rejection, fear of looking foolish.
Ironically, by avoiding that discomfort, we create even more stress and anxiety in the long run. The very thing we fear grows bigger, and the cost of inaction compounds.
But here’s the good news: courage isn’t a personality trait; it’s a skill. And like any skill, it can be built with intentional practice.
You Can’t Intellectualize Your Way to Courage
We often try to think our way into courage—analyze the risks, over-prepare, or wait for the perfect moment. But as I share in The Courage Gap, we cannot intellectualize our way to courage. Courage requires action. It requires us to embrace the growing pains that come with stepping into discomfort and doing the thing we’d rather avoid.
Courage doesn’t happen in your head—it happens in your actions.
In my upcoming book, The Courage Gap (releasing January 28th, 2025), I dive deeply into the psychology of closing the know/do gap, sharing strategies to help you bridge the gap between intention and action, between who you are now and who you can be. Here are three key strategies to get started:
1. Normalize Discomfort: This time a year ago I decided I wanted to run a marathon. My first. At the time I was struggling to run one mile, much less 26.2 of them. I knew it would require many steps outside my comfort zone and made the decision to embrace the discomfort as a sign I was moving toward a long held aspiration…. to cross the finish line of the New York Marathon. Resetting my relationship with discomfort and ‘embracing the suck’ made all the difference over the hot summer months when I had to build up my miles.
Embracing the discomfort and difficulty inherent in achieving a worthy goal helps people to stay the course, in contrast to those who think it should be easy. As a study of women on a weight-loss program found, the women who assumed they’d easily succeed lost an average of twenty-four pounds less than those who expected it to be tough.
And so too for you. Instead of trying to eliminate discomfort, reframe it as a sign that you’re growing. Lean into the unease, embrace the ‘hard yards’ and remind yourself that no one ever achieved anything worthwhile from within their comfort zone.
2. Shrink the Action: The bigger the goal, the larger the gap between where you are and where you want to be, amplifying the risk that you’ll fall short. So break your goal down into smaller milestones and more ‘bite size’ steps. steps. Instead of saying, “I’ll write my book this year,” say, “I’ll write one page every day.” Progress builds momentum.
3. Recruit Your “A-Team”: Sure, you can do hard things by yourself however research shows that people who commit their goals to others are far more likely to follow through. When you have people holding your feet to the fire when you fall short and cheering you on as you step forward, it helps you maintain momentum and press on when the going is tough. So share your goal with someone who will hold you to it and call you out when you start making excuses; the kind of person who cares more about you than they care about you always liking everything they say. Whether it’s a mentor, friend, or coach, having someone to check in with can make all the difference.
Fear Regret More Than Failure
At the end of her coaching journey, Sarah finally pitched her idea. And guess what? It wasn’t perfect. But it was good enough to spark a conversation that led to meaningful change in her organization. She told me later, “I realized that living with the discomfort of trying and failing was far better than living with the regret of never trying at all.”
As you step into 2025, ask yourself: What’s one thing I’ve been putting off that I know I need to do? Write it down. Break it down. And take one small step toward it this week.
Because the only thing scarier than taking the leap… is staying stuck where you are.
Dr Margie Warrell is a leadership advisor, speaker, and expert on courage and leadership. Her upcoming book, The Courage Gap, releases on January 28th, 2025, More about Margie at www.margiewarrell.com