In a time when technology keeps us more connected than ever, parents are paradoxically more isolated. The traditional “village” that once supported families—whether through extended family, close-knit communities, or even just neighbors lending a hand—is becoming a thing of the past. The impact of this loss is profound, not just in terms of practical support but on the mental health of parents.
As parents grapple with the pressures of modern life, from economic struggles to the demands of raising children in an increasingly complex world, the mental health crisis is becoming impossible to ignore. The recent U.S. Surgeon General’s report has identified stress among parents as a public health concern, sounding the alarm on the isolation and burnout that many parents face today.
The Biggest Barriers to Mental Health Support
One of the most significant challenges preventing parents from accessing mental health care is the health insurance system. Melissa Beck, Executive Director of The Sozosei Foundation, points out that many parents who have insurance still face enormous obstacles. “Health insurance companies do a poor job complying with parity laws that require mental health to be covered equally to physical health,” Beck explains. “Any parent who has battled to get mental healthcare paid for by insurance understands that.”
The reality is that navigating insurance policies can be a full-time job in itself, with parents often encountering “ghost” networks—lists of providers who appear to be available but aren’t accepting new patients or, in some cases, any patients at all.
This problem extends beyond adult mental health to child mental health services, which are even more challenging to access. Beck highlights that few therapists are willing to take on children as clients because they require specialized training, and the therapy often involves unpaid coordination with schools and healthcare providers.
For low-income families, these hurdles are compounded by practical barriers like inflexible work hours and limited transportation, creating an even steeper hill to climb.
Isolation and Its Impact on Parental Mental Health
The isolation that comes with modern parenting is another heavy burden. Kurt Workman, CEO and Co-Founder of Owlet, has firsthand experience with this. “As a parent myself, I know how isolating it can be those first few weeks and months,” says Workman. “We were underprepared, and my wife had preeclampsia on top of having just given birth. That first night at home, our son woke up at least ten times crying.” His story is all too familiar for many parents who find themselves far from family and friends, without a support network in those critical early months.
Social media has exacerbated this sense of isolation. Parents are bombarded with images of perfect families, adding to the pressure to appear as though everything is under control. But the reality is far from picture-perfect. Workman shares that his company’s “State of Parenting Report” reveals that many parents feel overwhelmed, anxious, and exhausted—emotions that are often hidden behind curated social media posts.
Dr. Becky Kennedy, a child psychologist and author, believes that much of this isolation stems from outdated beliefs about parenting. “We’ve been taught that parenting should come naturally, that there’s a ‘maternal instinct,'” says Dr. Kennedy. “When parenting is hard, which it inevitably is, parents tell themselves something’s wrong with them. This leads to shame, and then they freeze and get stuck.” The shame associated with struggling with parents isolates individuals further, making it harder for them to seek support.
Stressors in the Absence of Community Support
The absence of a traditional village only magnifies the stress that parents face today. Beck identifies insurance and healthcare access as major stressors, but there are many others, including climate change, job insecurity, and the constant fear of school shootings. “The lack of community support makes other stressors hit harder for parents,” she says.
Kennedy adds that without adequate support, parents often find themselves trying to do everything alone, especially women who may feel pressured to maintain an image of effortless perfection. “Effortless perfection is unattainable,” Kennedy stresses. “We all know that, but because we’ve internalized that idea, we feel shame when we struggle.”
For Workman, the stress around child health—whether it’s fear of SIDS, RSV, or just sleep issues—is a major source of anxiety. “Our new data shows that nearly one-third of parents say they lack support from family, friends, or their partner,” he explains. “This isolation makes stressors like these feel insurmountable, which can lead to a cascade of mental health challenges like anxiety and depression.”
Solutions for Rebuilding Support Systems
So, how do we rebuild support systems in a world that feels more disconnected than ever? Beck advocates for a cultural shift that prioritizes both the mental health of parents and children. “Philanthropy can play a role in catalyzing narrative change by supporting storytelling and arts organizations eager to undertake culture shift work,” she suggests. Reimagining how we tell stories about parenting can normalize the idea that seeking support is a sign of strength, not weakness.
Workman believes technology can help bridge the gap. “Telehealth solutions that can connect parents to specialists when they need it are crucial,” he says. His company, Owlet, has developed technology aimed at reducing stress for new parents, and Workman emphasizes that tools like these can offer peace of mind, enabling parents to focus on their well-being. “We need better postnatal care for women, not just the baby,” he adds, advocating for frequent check-ins with new mothers to ensure they are getting the support they need.
Dr. Helen Egger is the Project Healthy Minds Advisor, Co-Founder, and Chief Medical & Scientific Officer of Little Otter. She emphasizes the need for integrated family mental health care. “We need to treat the whole family, not just the child,” she says. Egger also points to telehealth as a solution for providing high-quality care without the logistical barriers of in-person appointments. She stresses that creating micro-communities, whether local or digital, can offer a lifeline of emotional and practical support. This is why Project Healthy Minds has a site where people can access multiple types of mental health care.
A Call for Systemic Change
The challenges parents face today are deeply rooted in systemic issues—lack of access to mental healthcare, economic pressures, and the erosion of community support. Addressing these challenges requires not just individual action but collective, systemic change. Advocating for better healthcare policies, affordable childcare, and flexible work options are essential first steps.
At the same time, we need to embrace a cultural shift that values parents’ mental health and recognizes that parenting is not an intuitive skill but one that requires support, learning, and community. By rebuilding the village, in whatever form that takes, we can help parents not just survive but thrive in the demanding yet rewarding journey of raising children.
The village may be gone, but together, we can create new support networks that offer parents the empathy, resources, and care they need.