This Thanksgiving, pass the gravy—and load up on collaboration.
Food serves as a great uniter, bringing together people from various backgrounds and viewpoints and allowing them to share an experience. That’s especially true for Thanksgiving, a holiday built on togetherness and giving thanks.
Whoever you’re eating your dinner with—whether it’s relatives, a “Friendsgiving,” or a group of strangers—the holiday offers a reminder of the relationship between food and collaboration and the power of sharing a meal.
The Importance Of Shared Plates
The connection between food and cooperation was explored in a 2019 research article by Kaitlin Woolley and Ayelet Fishbach that was published by The Journal Psychological Science. The authors found that the way a meal is served matters. Shared plates provide stronger cooperation, while eating individual, separate meals brings about less coordination between people around the table.
To reach that conclusion, the authors had study participants take part in a negotiation exercise. Some of the participants were given individual tortillas and chip/salsa bowls, while other groups were given shared bowls.
The pairs sharing food from the same bowl reached a deal more quickly (8 rounds of negotiation) than those who ate from their own bowls (13 rounds). “Sharing food from a single plate increased perceived coordination among diners, which in turn led them to behave more cooperatively and less competitively toward each other, compared with individuals eating the same food from separate plates,” the authors wrote.
A Shared Experience
Eating alone or eating lone dishes, even when eating alongside others, reinforces a focus on the interests and goals of the individual. But when communal dining takes place, it transforms eating into a shared experience of problem-solving and working together. Passing dishes around the table requires a system. Certain people take on specific roles: carving, serving, laying out table settings, etc.
Participants are forced to consider and accommodate people’s needs and measure their own wishes and goals against those of others. If the stuffing is running low, for example, eaters must consider how much they can take for themselves, while ensuring there’s enough for everyone else. Instead of being a personal experience, eating represents a series of negotiations and compromises to ensure that everyone is satisfied.
Strengthened Bonds
These trends were similarly reflected in a survey involving firefighters who eat together.
Cooperative behavior was about twice as high for the firefighters who ate with one another than those that didn’t, according to a 2015 study by researchers from Cornell University.
The mundane can mean something more. And eating together can not only bring together people who might not otherwise connect with each other, it can strengthen the bonds between co-workers and family members. It makes people more comfortable with others and allows them to see their true selves — to let their guards down and connect on a deeper level.
A Common Language
Food is a common language. Sitting down to dinner together offers a chance to learn about new cultures and traditions. Thanksgiving isn’t about socioeconomic status, gender or race. Rather, it’s about the chance to share a meal together. It’s about creating a welcoming environment for everyone at the table.
Navigating Difficult Conversations
Unfortunately, bringing people together can mean you need to facing someone with whom you might disagree. In fact, a 2023 survey by USA Today Blueprint indicated that nearly 85% of people — out of the 2,000 surveyed — admitted to lying or coming up with an excuse to get out of a family holiday event.
The most common reasons people argue when they get together during the holidays include family issues (51%), politics (48%), money (47%), children/parenting techniques (37%) and religion (29%), according to the survey.
It’s important to remember part of positive collaboration is navigating difficult conversations.
While it’s likely good advice to follow the age-old adage to “never discuss politics or religion at the dinner table,” it’s also important to make sure you don’t fall into the trap of avoiding conflict altogether. Truth be told, having the courage to have difficult conversations can lead to healthier personal and business relationships.
If you do find yourself dreading family holiday get-togethers, try to put yourself in the other person’s shoes and resist the urge to try and “win” the conversation.
Another tip?
Gratitude.
The Power Of Gratitude
Gratitude is a major element of Thanksgiving. The feast allows all to consider the things that make them feel thankful. A full belly of good food is a reminder to embrace gratitude.
“If the surveys are right — that 80% of us experience gratitude on a regular basis — why not celebrate that?” Diana Butler Bass wrote in her 2018 book “Grateful.” “Gratitude, evidently, is something we share. We might even give thanks for the binding power of thanks. Gratefulness is not partisan, exclusive or even necessarily religious.”
Sitting down together for Thanksgiving dinner reminds family and friends of the things they have in common, while filling them with gratitude.
The Bottom Line
Thanksgiving offers Americans the chance to put their differences aside, give thanks and share a meal together, making it a collaborative feast — with lots of leftovers, of course.
Enjoy it.