If trust is the operating system of every good relationship—and it is—we should do everything possible to avoid Trust Busters.
Trust Busters are common behaviors that undermine confidence and engagement.
Let’s consider one of the more common trust busters, along with its fix, which I call a Trust Builder.
Double Talk: A cartoon showed a street scene of the Fine Print Barber Shop. On the sidewalk was a sign that read: “One haircut FREE.” Then in fine print, “$25 to cut the rest of them.” The barber’s advertisement was technically correct, but it certainly left a misleading impression.
While the cartoon may elicit a chuckle, double talk is no laughing matter. Double talk takes many forms, all of which damage or destroy trust:
- Spin: Every organization and, to an extent, every individual engages in public relations. We communicate with others by sharing our opinions and championing our causes. That’s fair and understandable and a natural part of human interaction. “Spin,” on the other hand, is often used as a pejorative term, and rightfully so. “Spin” usually describes a heavily biased portrayal in one’s own favor of an event, situation, or topic. Although it’s possible to spin information honestly, the term as used here implies disingenuous, deceptive, and even manipulative tactics. An obvious example would be the state-run media in some countries that selectively allow news stories that are favorable to the government while censoring anything deemed critical. A common example closer to home is the blather that tries to pass itself off as helpful information in the annual reports of public companies. When a letter to shareholders begins with “This was a challenging year for our company . . .” it’s a pretty safe bet that what follows is the rhetorical equivalent of putting lipstick on a pig—the company’s performance nosedived, targets were missed, and it can all be blamed on market conditions and political intrigue beyond the control of management.
- Cherry picking: This is a close cousin of spin, and takes the form of selectively presenting facts and quotes to support a particular position. The result is often a false impression. Politicians do it all the time. A member of Congress might highlight a piece of legislation he claims to have co-sponsored. The way he tells the story you’d think he was riding into town on a white horse as the primary champion of the cause. In reality, he fails to mention that the legislation is also co-sponsored by more than a hundred other Congressmen and that his actual involvement amounted to little more than adding his name to the list. When I noticed a huge increase in the annual premium on my homeowners policy, I asked the insurance agent to double check the numbers. He came back with a lower premium, but failed to mention that the “new” policy decreased the protection on my home by several hundred thousand dollars. In the corporate world, cherry picking often occurs when restructuring is announced, when performance initiatives are rolled out, and when organization charts are reshuffled. Trust suffers.
- Euphemisms: These are words designed to deflect attention from something considered distasteful or unpleasant. In some families, nobody ever dies, they “pass away.” In some social circles, nobody is insulted or disrespected, they are “marginalized.” In some companies, people don’t get fired or dismissed, they are “outplaced.” As one writer said, euphemisms are like secret agents on a delicate mission, they are unpleasant truths wearing diplomatic cologne. The trouble with euphemisms is that despite the cologne they still stink.
- Jargon and buzzwords: Jargon, much like slang, is terminology that often develops as a kind of short-hand used by members of a group—like computer people talk about RAM, CPU, URLs, and related things. Acronyms—abbreviations formed from initial letters or a term or phrase—are another kind of jargon. These are not inherently a problem, but they tend to fog up communication when used to excess or with people unfamiliar with the code. Buzzwords are in a class by themselves. These overused terms are common to corporate, technical, administrative, and political environments, but they’re evident in other places, too. While jargon (ideally) at least has a defined technical meaning, buzzwords are often used primarily to impress with a pretense of knowledge. Instead, they usually result in opaque sentences with mushy meaning. I saw one organization’s so-called mission statement that read something like this: “In a spirit of continuous improvement, it is our responsibility to provide access to low-risk high-yield benefits to our customers and to administrate economically sound policies while promoting personal growth and fulfillment for our associates.” My ninth grade English teacher would have kicked me out of class for writing a sentence like that. When used sanely, words like leverage, passion, bandwidth, paradigm, empowerment, framework, and space have a welcome place in our language. But when strung together in a cobweb of obfuscation, the result is bewilderment, not communication; suspicion, not trust.
- Vague commitments: When a boy picks up your teenage daughter for a date, you’ll likely want some information about what’s on the agenda for the evening—things like where they’re going, who will be there, what the activity will be, and when you can expect your daughter to return home. You want your daughter to have fun and, above all, you want her to be safe. If the guy gives you no more data than “I’ll bring her back,” you’ll have second thoughts about letting your daughter out the front door. In the business world, vague commitments are no less of a trust buster. Some people pay lip service to clarifying expectations, but then they fail to provide specifics on results, deadlines, budgets, or most anything else about performance. It makes no difference whether this failure is inadvertent or by design. The effect is the same: fragile trust.
The Trust Builder that I recommend using to fix (or altogether avoid) Doubletalk is simple Clear the Fog.
Honesty and clarity are the best prevention against double talk. Simply don’t engage in double talk in the first place. Avoid ambiguous or evasive language. Use simple words. Lay out the whole story, warts and all.
Billionaire Warren Buffett, chairman of Berkshire Hathaway, is a model of straight talk in all his business dealings. It’s especially evident in his annual “management letter” to shareholders. Buffett’s phenomenal success is something he gladly shares with his small staff, and the managers of his various companies. He’s also quick to shoulder responsibility for the negative. He says things like “If I fail, I have no excuses,” and “When I make mistakes, they are—in tennis parlance—unforced errors.”
Clearing the Fog is not complicated:
- To avoid “spin,” be sure that all sides to an issue get a fair hearing. Remember that a pig with lipstick is still a pig. Play it straight. People appreciate—and trust— plain talk.
- Use examples that are plausible, relevant, and real. People trust illustrations that connect to their world.
- Use language that stands up straight. Words that lurk behind corners or tip-toe around issues are neither credible nor convincing. Political correctness is a particular offender.
- Make specific, realistic commitments. Then honor them.