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Bad But Well-Intentioned Career Advice From Parents

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We may love our parents, but with any family dynamics, there are bound to be disagreements. While parents may have the best intentions for their kids, their advice can sometimes be outdated.

When you’re searching for a new job or attempting to grow your career, one or both of your parents may bombard you with all of their advice and suggestions. They’ll inform you that they are older, and, therefore, wiser and know what is best for you.

Unfortunately, they haven’t been in the job market for decades, so their guidance may not hold up in the current environment. Nevertheless, it’s a foregone conclusion that they’ll lecture you on all aspects of the labor market.

You’ll wince when they push you toward a safe career, such as becoming a doctor, lawyer or software engineer. Despite the fact that these careers don’t appeal to you, they’ll talk all about their friends’ kids who are wonderfully successful in these occupations.

While these are respectable professions, there are countless other fulfilling and lucrative career options. It can be too much pressure on a young adult to lead a life and career that they are not enthusiastic about or have the ability to excel in.

Moreover, while your parents’ advice may come from a place of love and care, it’s essential to adapt it to the modern workplace. By critically evaluating different perspectives, you can make informed decisions about your career path.

‘This Is What I Did 40 Years Ago’

Parents often say, “Back in my day, you stayed at an organization for the entire duration of your career. There was none of that jumping around. You made a commitment to the company and you stay there.” They’ll tell you, “Keep your head down, stay out of trouble and you’ll do fine.”

This advice may have held up for them, but in today’s workforce, nobody is going to just give you a promotion or new job. You have to put yourself out there and seize the opportunity.

You have to get yourself noticed by the right people who can help grow your career. Competition is fiercer today now that more professionals hold four-year degrees compared to during our parents’ time. Job security is at greater risk with the emergence of technological advancements, such as artificial intelligence. With the advent of remote work, it may be harder to get noticed by your supervisor now that you lack proximity and access to them in the physical workplace.

Workers no longer feel a sense of loyalty to their company because they have since realized how one-sided the relationship is. The notion that a company is a “family” has irrevocably been busted.

For decades, corporations have branded themselves as a big, happy family. However, employees now see it for what it really is: transactional. A family would never fire grandma right before Christmas.

People have caught on to the fact that loyalty comes with a price. In recruiting, there’s a concept known as the “loyalty discount,” which refers to the compensation of long-term employees. This phenomenon occurs when an individual has been with a company for an extended period, such as 10 or 20 years. Initially, their starting salary may have been comparatively modest. Over time, with annual salary increases typically ranging from 1% to 2%, and factoring in the effects of inflation, these loyal employees often find their compensation considerably under market compared to those who frequently change jobs.

Job-hoppers tend to secure more substantial pay increases, often in the range of 10% to 20% with each career move, resulting in a notable disparity in earnings between long-term employees and those who change employers more frequently.

‘Play Hard To Get’

While that approach might be effective in dating, it doesn’t apply to job interviews. If you appear standoffish, cold, distant or aloof, it won’t create an air of mystery or intrigue; instead, it will lead interviewers to think you lack interest in the position.

Hiring managers are looking for candidates who genuinely want the job and are enthusiastic about the opportunity. They are not interested in pursuing someone who seems indifferent. If you are coy and unclear about how you feel about the opportunity, and plenty of other applicants are available, they’ll just move on. Ultimately, they will avoid hiring someone who behaves as if they are doing you a favor by accepting the position.

Against your parent’s advice, if you are interested in a job opportunity, make it clear that you want it. For example, at the end of the interview process, let the hiring manager know, “I really enjoyed meeting with everyone and the role is a perfect fit for my background. If you are considering putting together an offer—and I hope that you are—I’d gladly accept the compensation we discussed.”

By stating this, the hiring manager doesn’t have to worry about competing with a counteroffer. There is political capital spent getting an offer approved. At large companies, it has to go through several channels and a bunch of red tape. If a candidate later rejects the offer, it makes the team involved in the hiring process look bad.

‘Don’t Swing At The First Pitch’

In baseball, coaches may say, “Don’t swing at the first pitch.” It translates to “there may be a better pitch thrown, if you wait a little longer” or “don’t be too impatient.”

This cliché is also used in job searches. Your parents may admonish you for taking the first offer that’s extended to you. Their old-school thinking is that there are so many other jobs available, so it’s worthwhile to keep swinging until you get the perfect pitch.

In a tight job market, characterized by layoffs and financial insecurity, it may make sense to lock in the job. Since hiring has significantly slowed down, you may not have the luxury of plentiful choices. Also, to get this one offer, you had to endure over six months of interviews, meeting with 12 people from the company, completing a take-home project and pre-employment psychological assessment. You are invested!

If you believe in your heart that this is the right next step, don’t let anyone talk you out of it just because it was the first offer.

‘Dress For Success’

While dressing professionally is important, you want to ensure that your interview attire aligns with the company’s culture. Different industries have varying expectations for professional attire.

Dressing appropriately for the specific sector or company allows the interviewer to begin envisioning you as part of their team. In some casual work environments, like tech startups, wearing overly formal attire might make you appear too rigid.

‘Always Say Yes’

Disconnecting from work is essential for your physical and mental health. To avoid falling victim to presenteeism or burnout, you must set clear boundaries to protect your overall well-being.

It is also important to allow yourself time to rest and recover, as you are no good to anybody if you feel run down. This means not checking work emails or taking calls while out of the office, unless urgent. Do not hesitate to delegate tasks to your team, as that is what they are there for.

To avoid burnout, make sure you are using your personal, vacation and sick days to give yourself respite. If your workload is overwhelming, request a meeting with your manager to discuss work-life balance concerns.

‘Networking Is About Who You Know’

Your folks may suggest, “Networking is just about who you know.” While connections are important, building genuine relationships based on mutual benefit is essential for long-term success.

In their day, they’d attend an event with a sticker on their jacket with their name, company and corporate title. People would shake their sweaty hands and check to see where everyone aligned in the corporate hierarchy. However, professional networking has evolved significantly over the decades, transforming from primarily face-to-face interactions to a blend of in-person and digital connections.

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