You’ve probably noticed that social skills are declining—and it’s not your imagination. Based on survey data, we’re experiencing a concerning loss of social skills as well as a reduction in courtesy and civility. In addition to the experiences you’re having with others, you may also be feeling personally less confident in connecting or relating. All of this is disheartening, for sure.
New surveys find that social skills are indeed deteriorating. Social jetlag is real—and it’s getting in the way of interacting and building relationships. It’s painful, because we’re fundamentally social and we require belonging in order to be happy and fulfilled.
Here’s what you must know about social skills today–and how to rebuild relationships.
The Impact of Social Skills
Social skills have important implications for your health and wellbeing. If you struggle with social skills, you’re likely to experience stress, loneliness and even physical declines, according to data published in Health Communication.
On the other hand, better social skills are linked with wellbeing and more success in your career, according to data published in Review of Economics and Statistics.
The Loss of Social Skills
But overall social skills have declined and deteriorated.
- 25% of remote workers say their social skills have waned—and Millennials and those living alone are most likely to say they experience deterioration. This is according to a survey by ResumeBuilder.
- 37% of those surveyed said they lack communication skills, based on data reported in Personnel Today.
- 63% of people who struggle with mental health attribute the problems to a lack of social connection, while 57% say their mental health has declined because of feeling isolated, according to the ResumeBuilder data.
- 55% say that they lack connection with their co-workers, while 58% lack connection with their company and 62% lack connection to their community in general, based on ResumeBuilder.
The struggle is real.
3 Ways to Rebuild Relationships and Restore Social Skills
In spite of the reductions in soft skills and interaction skills, it is possible to rebuild relationships and restore social skills. Here’s how.
1. Have Courage
If you’re uncomfortable, you’re not alone. Many people have fears about interacting with others. Fully 20% in the ResumeBuilder survey are anxious as well as self-conscious; 18% feel awkward; 13% are overwhelmed or uncomfortable in social settings; 11% are apprehensive and 2% feel terrified of social interactions.
But the definition of courage isn’t acting without fear. Rather, it is acting in spite of fear.
Remind yourself of your value and act with confidence, despite your insecurities. Resilience and social confidence are muscles you can build—so keep interacting with others and engaging in spite of discomfort or fear—and you’ll develop your skills and confidence.
2. Practice
The mechanics of social interaction can be difficult for people.
In fact, 27% said they struggled to make small talk, and 18% said they didn’t know how to initiate conversation—and 16% had difficulty maintaining eye contact. In addition, 15% had trouble carrying on a conversation or participating in a group discussion. All this is according to ResumeBuilder.
The key to behaving effectively in social situations is to practice. Like anything, the more you get involved in situations, the more comfortable you’ll be and the better you’ll get at it. Engage in activities with close friends or family as you’re building your skills, and then branch out to events where you don’t know people as well.
3. Get Out There
Another primary way to build your social skills is to ensure you’re getting out.
It’s comfortable to stay home and hang out with your dog and your Netflix shows. Many of us are seeking safe harbor at home, according to ResumeBuilder—with 69% of those who work remote saying they rarely or never work outside their home, and 20% who report that they don’t leave their house more than once per week. In addition, 27% of people say they don’t talk to others more than once per week.
On a related note, 33% of respondents in the ResumeBuilder survey said they struggled with mental health because they didn’t have a hobby or an interest outside of work.
But superficial interactions are linked with happiness—just as deeper relationships are. To build social skills, get out of the house more often and find something that interests you. Broadening your interests can give you perspective and also connect you with others.
If you love to knit, find a friend group, stitch together and chat about the art. Or if you’re into yoga, go out to a class rather than doing the online version.
You can also do ordinary things in a more social way—going to the store and talking to the check-out person rather than getting the delivery at your door. It may be less efficient, but you’ll be elevating connection over convenience–building your social skills and contributing to your mental wellbeing in the process.
Overcoming the Loss of Social Skills
We’ve lost ground, and we’re experiencing a loss of social skills, for sure. But with intentionality and by choosing to act in spite of fear or discomfort we can connect, come together and build community. It’s critical for our wellbeing, happiness and even our physical health.