If it feels like political polarization is at a tipping point, you are not mistaken. According to the Listen First Project, in the U.S.:
- 87% are tired of political division.
- 87% say political polarization is a threat to America.
- 86% of Americans say that they feel exhausted by the division in America.
No one seems to be content with the status quo. It may feel like the time to disregard differences and focus on people in your echo chamber. Yet, there is danger in doing so. In my interview with Juliana Tafur, Bridging Differences program director at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, she shared, “Americans are tired of the political divisiveness. Three out of four Americans see polarization as a serious problem and want to live in a less polarized country. This division is damaging our relationships and affecting our personal well-being.”
Humans are a social species and are meant to be in connection with one another. A large part of our evolution has been our ability to collaborate when faced with challenges or obstacles. We are by nature interdependent, and need each other to get things done. To combat polarization, the program at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center, led by Tafur, focuses on bridging differences.
One of the founders of the bridging concept, john a powell, explains bridging as “the willingness to stay open and to recognize the humanity of all people. The attitude we bring to bridging is more crucial than any specific steps we might learn on how to bridge.”
Bridging is a metaphor for proactively crossing your side of the bridge in hopes that another person will also cross theirs. Tafur says the goal is “to see each other’s humanity and, when possible, recognize shared identities and common goals for more positive, harmonious interactions.”
The Greater Good Science Center has science-backed resources to help people bridge their differences across ideological and societal divides. To get started, they recommend clearing your head, seeking opportunities to connect, starting with issues that matter to the other party, leaning into curiosity and listening, and starting with short bridges first.
Clear Your Head
Bridging is like a decision tree. To decide when to bridge, consider these prerequisites: the other party must be open, accepting and respectful. For example, if someone’s opposing belief is denying your existence, do not put yourself in harm’s way. It could be unsafe for an out LGBTQ+ person to bridge with someone who does not accept LGBTQ+ or a person of color to bridge with a known white supremacist.
Once you have determined the other party is capable of meeting these prerequisites, start with your mindset. It is important to be in a healthy mental space so that you are not easily triggered by the other party. Tafur emphasizes mindfulness, breathing exercises and self-reflection.
To help you regain composure in a difficult situation, she points to a science-based technique called self-distancing, which involves thinking about yourself, and even talking to yourself in the third person. For example, instead of thinking, “Why am I so mad?,” try instead asking yourself, “Why is [insert your name] so mad?”
As with any practice, repetition helps. By putting in these reps, conversation by conversation, your body learns how to calm itself and be less triggered by conflicting views.
Seek Opportunities to Connect
There are opportunities to bridge in everyday life. Bridging does not require you to join a social movement, attend formal protests or even speak out on social media. Instead, proactively look for bridging opportunities in everyday settings like school board meetings, neighborhood get-togethers or in your social circles. Tafur says the desire to move the needle on things that matter most to you (e.g., improving the school your children go to) can be an important catalyst to get you to work across differences. Keep your radar up for opportunities to connect and bridge, even when it may feel uncomfortable.
“As you’re working side-by-side in the name of a shared goal, you might discover you’re not so different after all,” she shared.
Seek Shared Identities
Find commonalities across differences. Reflect on the broader identities you share with those you hope to bridge with, such as your roles within the same community—be it as neighbors, participants in similar activities, or colleagues. These shared aspects of identity, which cut across personal differences, can transform our interactions. “Our differences don’t need to be threatening. We know when people come at a problem from multiple perspectives the solution tends to be more robust,” Tafur noted. There is a reason the most diverse teams tend to be the most innovative. When we stay in our respective echo chambers, we do not come up with creative solutions for complex problems.
Lean into Curiosity and Listen
Bridging differences does not require you to abandon your beliefs or identity. Bridging isn’t about persuading others or compromising our own beliefs, values or identities; instead, it’s about fostering understanding and connection across our differences. To bridge, you have to come from an authentic place, embodying the fullness of who you are. Rather than trying to convince, which rarely works, come from a place of curiosity with a willingness to learn more about the other person’s experiences, thoughts or feelings.
“This shifts the focus from assumptions or judgments to discovery. When you approach a conversation with the question, ‘What can I learn from this person?,’ you create space for deeper exploration and connection,” Tafur says. “Research also tells us that when we listen, it makes our conversation partners less defensive, more open-minded and less focused on their self-interests.”
Find Short Bridges First
Celebrate small wins. Rather than try to solve for world peace, set manageable short-term goals for bridging. Resist the temptation to try to bridge with the most polarizing, most opposite person in your life. Start small with baby steps instead. Long bridges are a part of the long game of ongoing conversations. Short bridges are smaller steps toward connection. When you start with an open mindset, look for opportunities to connect, seek shared identities, lean into curiosity and listening, and make successful short bridges first, you can bridge better long term.
Want to practice bridging? The Greater Good Science Center has a free tool, the 7-Day Campaign for Connection Challenge. I highly recommend their online course and books as additional resources. As someone who is trying to bridge more in this polarizing world, I’m thankful for their work.
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