In today’s performance-driven culture, we often hold ourselves to high standards. The constant pursuit of excellence pushes us to seize every opportunity—always aiming to get a leg over the competition. The pace is intense and the pressure can be overwhelming. Those who excel are labeled “A players,” while organizations continuously raise the bar for what exemplars looks like. The pace is grueling. Many leaders feel the weight of the expectation to project unwavering confidence, even when they’re grappling with uncertainty in their decision-making.
There is nothing inherently wrong with striving for greatness. Humans have always pushed the limits of what’s possible. But we must ask ourselves: has our obsessive pursuit of achievement become our identity? Is performance the primary measure of our worth? And what message are we sending when we prioritize winning at all costs?
Has leadership itself become a performative exercise?
The Trap Of Performative Leadership
We’ve been conditioned to believe that leaders must act a certain way to be seen as successful. Emerging leaders often feel pressured to “show” leadership— which invariably translates to displaying authority and control in ways that reinforce outdated notions of what leadership should be.
We’re all familiar with sayings such as:
“It’s lonely at the top.”
“Never let them see you sweat.”
“Fear is the best motivator.”
“If you want something done right, do it yourself.”
“The ends justify the means.”
“Employees should feel lucky to have a job.”
“A leader should never apologize.”
These phrases reflect a mindset that misses the essence of true leadership. When aspiring leaders adopt this narrow perspective, they end up performing leadership rather than embodying it. In their effort to project confidence and control, they risk losing the authenticity that fosters trust, connection, and genuine followership.
Several common “thought traps” and “thinking errors” also contribute to this performative approach. As noted in this Harvard Business Review article, leaders can fall prey to all-or-nothing thinking, catastrophizing, social comparison and rigid “should” statements. These patterns not only distract from authentic leadership, but also make it more challenging for leaders to navigate the complexities of their roles.
Performative leadership can be overt or subtle. Some leaders may appear engaging and open, yet create a disconnect with their teams when their actions feel staged. Colleagues and employees quickly sense an act when it lacks sincerity, reducing collaboration to mere transactions. Over time, this disconnect can lead to burnout and disengagement for both leaders and their teams.
Break Down The Facade: Embrace Vulnerability
Let’s be honest: leaders want to be liked. Rising through the ranks requires earning trust, building relationships, and proving your worth. But in doing so, many leaders start shaping their behavior just to meet external expectations. This is social desirability bias at work—acting in ways that seem desirable rather than authentic, transforming leadership into a performance. Signs a leader may be falling into this trap include:
- Crafting words and actions simply to match expectations instead of speaking honestly.
- Sugarcoating reality and avoiding difficult truths.
- Relying on corporate jargon or buzzwords rather than communicating clearly.
- Focusing more on optics than on meaningful impact.
Performative leadership is exhausting, like being a method actor who is always “in character.” Over time, it drains personal well-being and erodes trust within teams. The way out is to admit when you don’t have all the answers, define your guiding principles clearly, and ask for—and act on—feedback. Embracing vulnerability is key.
In the words of Brené Brown, “Vulnerability is not winning or losing; it’s having the courage to show up and be seen when you have no control over the outcome.”
In simple terms, true leadership isn’t about being perfect—it’s about being real, warts and all. Performative leadership can trap leaders in a cycle of impostor syndrome, where they hide their flaws behind a facade and adopt a persona that isn’t truly them. Authentic leaders, however, embrace their imperfections, fostering real connections by being open and honest with their teams.
In a world that idolizes “hero leadership,” it’s not easy to embrace vulnerability. Yet, leaders can begin by simply admitting when they’re unsure and encouraging open conversations and healthy debate. Ultimately, it takes real bravery to be authentic, and that authenticity can inspire others to step into their own truths.
Let Your Strengths Take Center Stage
You’ve likely heard the advice to “be yourself” countless times. This timeless mantra resonates because authentic leadership builds trust and inspires others. The Ancient Greeks even inscribed “Know thyself” at the Temple of Apollo in Delphi, and Buddhist teachings encourage authenticity over superficial displays.
Yet, despite its importance, true self-awareness is often overlooked. Recent Gallup research reveals that only 32% of people strongly believe they have the opportunity to do what they do best every day. That’s a stark reminder of how many of us operate without fully tapping into our natural strengths.
When leaders operate from their true strengths, they naturally build stronger connections, foster trust, and create environments where others can excel. To avoid falling into performative traps, leaders should focus on two key strategies:
1. Know Your Strengths
Identify what you do best and find opportunities that allow you to shine. For instance, if communicating effectively is your strength, prioritize clear storytelling and inspiration in your leadership. Emphasizing your individual contributions helps ease the pressure to conform and allows you to lead authentically.
2. Help Others Recognize Theirs
A successful leader goes beyond maximizing their own abilities—they foster a team culture that values everyone’s unique talents. Rather than taking over tasks, effective leaders encourage their teams to own their work, shifting the focus away from a “hero leader” image toward collaborative growth.
This coaching approach not only promotes authenticity but also strengthens group performance by ensuring every voice is heard.
Listening More Than You Talk
At its core, leadership is about listenership—truly understanding what people need through deep, intentional engagement. Without active listening, leaders often operate on assumptions and treat everyone the same, instead of adapting to individual needs. Research indicates that some leaders may unintentionally prioritize their own image, missing critical opportunities to engage with their team.
Ineffective listening can take several forms. Some leaders engage in “performative listening,” where they nod along without fully attending to what’s being said. Others might selectively listen—waiting for their turn to speak rather than fully understanding the content of the conversation.
In contrast, effective leaders practice what we might call “global listening.” They dive into the context behind words, fostering stronger relationships and cultivating an environment of trust and collaboration.
Simple actions can go a long way— start with regularly practicing global listening, open your schedule to allow more regular one-on-ones for open discussions, create feedback loops for ongoing input and host open forums to ensure all voices are heard.
Drop The Act
Leaders don’t always wear a mask out of a desire to hide who they are—often, it’s simply what the world expects. However, real leadership isn’t about performing; it’s about leading as the person you truly are. When you drop the act and embrace your authentic self, you unlock a leader’s greatest strength: the ability to inspire genuine trust and lasting connection.
In the end, leadership performance isn’t about looking like a leader. It’s about being one—showing up, listening deeply and letting your true strengths guide you and your team forward.