Most leaders want to give feedback that’s both honest and effective. But there’s a common habit that actually undermines feedback and makes it ineffective: mixing compliments with criticism.
The Problem with the “Compliment Sandwich”
You’ve seen it before—the classic compliment sandwich: “You’re doing great work… but you really need to step it up… but I know you’ll figure it out.” Or, “You’re a great team player… but your reports are always late… but we appreciate your dedication.”
It’s a well-intentioned approach. Managers think they’re softening the blow by cushioning criticism with praise. But in reality, they’re doing the opposite: they’re training employees to distrust compliments altogether.
The Psychology Behind Why This Approach Fails
A Leadership IQ study found that 63% of employees prefer to receive negative feedback as candid, unvarnished facts—without compliments attached.
When you give someone a compliment immediately before criticism, their brain starts associating praise with impending negative feedback, making them distrust positive remarks. It’s a psychological trap. Just like Pavlov’s dogs learned to associate a bell with food, employees learn to associate praise with an incoming critique. Over time, the moment they hear a compliment, they instinctively brace for the “but” that’s about to follow. The praise becomes meaningless, and the constructive feedback gets lost in the mental confusion.
The “Compliment Sandwich” Does More Harm Than Good
If you’ve ever been on the receiving end of a compliment sandwich, you know how it feels. Instead of making criticism easier to hear, it makes you suspicious of every positive remark you get.
Employees start thinking: “Are they only saying something nice because they’re about to criticize me?” “Do they actually think I’m doing well, or is this just a setup?” “Should I ignore the praise and just focus on the bad news?”
The intent was to make feedback more palatable. But the effect is that praise loses its meaning, and criticism gets diluted to the point of uselessness.
The Right Way to Give Feedback
The fix is simple: keep compliments purely positive and criticism purely constructive.
If you have praise, say it separately—without a “but.” Don’t say: “You’ve been a great asset to the team, but your last project missed the deadline.” Instead, say: “You’ve been a great asset to the team.” Address the deadline issue separately.
If you have criticism, give the facts clearly and directly. Don’t say: “You’re very talented, but your presentations need work.” Instead, say: “Your presentations need more structure and clarity. Let’s work on improving that together.”
By separating the two, you ensure that compliments feel genuine and criticism is actually useful. This approach fosters a culture of trust, where employees feel valued for their strengths and understand exactly where they need improvement. As a result, you’ll see morale increase, engagement improve, and employees are more likely to act on feedback rather than dismissing it as confusing.
Why Employees Want Candid Feedback
Many managers soften feedback because they think employees will react badly to direct criticism. But research doesn’t support that fear. A Leadership IQ study found that employees who receive direct, candid feedback are 40% more engaged and 30% more likely to improve their performance.
The reason? People want to know where they stand. When feedback is clear, they can act on it. When it’s wrapped in fluff, they walk away confused and unsure of what to do next.
The Leadership Impact of Clear Feedback
Great leaders don’t dilute their feedback with unnecessary softeners. They respect their employees enough to be honest, and they know that clarity is a form of kindness.
Here’s what clear and separate feedback looks like in action:
Pure praise: “Your client presentations have been outstanding lately. The way you explain complex ideas is really resonating with our customers.”
Pure constructive criticism: “Your last report contained several errors in the data. Let’s go over how the accuracy can be improved for next time.”
No mixed signals. No unnecessary cushioning. Just honest, useful communication. For example, when an employee receives direct feedback such as, ‘Your attention to detail on the last project was excellent,’ without an attached critique, they can fully absorb the praise. Likewise, when told, ‘Your reports need more clarity and structure,’ they can focus on improvement without second-guessing the feedback’s sincerity.
The Bottom Line
If you want to be a leader who truly helps people grow, stop mixing compliments with criticism. Keep compliments separate and genuine. Deliver criticism clearly and constructively. Trust that employees value directness over sugarcoating.
The best feedback isn’t wrapped in fluff; it’s clear, fair, and actually useful. By delivering praise and criticism separately, you ensure that employees trust positive reinforcement and can act on constructive feedback with confidence. A direct, honest approach helps build a culture of transparency and growth.