In today’s fast-paced, hyper-connected world, leadership success often hinges on one defining factor: the depth, health, and relevance of your most valuable relationships. Yet, many leaders mistakenly equate having an extensive network with having a meaningful or impactful one. This assumption, propagated broadly by social media and specifically by LinkedIn, is rooted in the belief that more connections equals more opportunities. However, authentic leadership thrives not in the breadth of relationships but in their depth, quality, and relevance. Said another way – I have 20,000 LinkedIn connections and couldn’t tell you how I know half of them!
As leaders, we must embrace a critical shift: moving away from collecting contacts and toward cultivating authentic, intentional, and strategic relationships. These top-tier relationships—our Top 100—are not merely assets but the foundation of professional and personal success. This fundamental mindset shift must also cascade throughout our organizations to minimize “spray and pray” and focus on each team member’s most prized relationships – fewer, deeper, and more meaningful.
Leadership Isn’t Just About Quantity of Relationships — It’s About Quality
Modern leaders are often buried in endless connections, LinkedIn contacts, and leadership or executive networking events. Yet, the harsh reality is that only a fraction of these relationships hold any real, meaningful, or long-term value. Think about the relationships that have had the most significant impact on your career. Are they the result of fleeting introductions, or have they been nurtured and sustained over time, with mutual trust, respect, and shared goals at their core?
The late Robin Dunbar’s research on social networks tells us that humans can proactively and meaningfully manage about 100 to 150 relationships at any given time. For leaders, this insight is both liberating and strategic. It challenges us to identify and nurture the relationships that truly matter—amplifying our impact, providing support, and enabling our goals. These connections will pick up the phone when we call, provide candid feedforward when needed, and invest in our success as much as we invest in theirs.
From Connection to Currency: The Value of Strategic Relationships
Strong relationships are not just good to have—they are the currency of impactful leadership. They provide access to new market opportunities, foster impactful collaboration, and open side doors to previously unavailable access. The question for leaders is how to identify and prioritize these high-value relationships while avoiding the pitfall of trying to manage everyone.
Effective leaders understand the difference between proximity and value. Not every colleague, contact, or acquaintance is in your top focus tier. Servant leadership requires the discipline to step back and ask:
- Which relationships are aligned with my strategic goals?
- Who are the direct enablers of my desired outcomes—those who clear obstacles and accelerate my journey from now to next?
- Who are the co-creators—those who inspire new ideas and opportunities and often push me to become the best version of myself?
By answering these questions, leaders can hone in on their Top 100 relationships—critical to their success and mutually beneficial as a long-term relational investment.
Blind Spots: The Hidden Potential in Your Leadership Network
One of the most significant challenges leaders face is identifying the blind spots in their portfolio of relationships. These are the overlooked or underestimated connections that hold untapped potential. Often, they are internal colleagues or collaborators, the “unsung heroes” of an organization—HR professionals, IT specialists, or M&A/Corp. Dev team leads—who quietly enable a leader’s success behind the scenes.
Effective leadership requires actively seeking out these hidden relationships. It demands a willingness to look beyond the obvious (education, pedigree, org structure, or titles) and invest in individuals who may not be in your immediate sphere but play a crucial role in your broader vision. By doing so, leaders deepen their network and foster loyalty and meaningful, often cross-functional, collaboration within their organizations.
A Leader’s Blueprint for Managing Their Top 100 Relationships
The path to building a meaningful network begins with intentionality. Leaders must avoid managing every connection and instead adopt a strategic approach. Here’s how:
- Map Your Relationships: Take a step back and evaluate your existing network. Based on your strategic priorities, who do you consistently interact with, rely on, or turn to for wise counsel? These are the relationships worth prioritizing. Use tools, calendars, or even visual charts to map out these connections and ensure they consistently remain top of mind.
- Segment Your Network into Unique Buckets: Not all relationships serve the same purpose. Categorize your connections into groups or buckets based on their role in your personal and professional growth. Think of these as unique spheres of influence where you have valuable relationships. For example, one bucket could represent mentors, another could include collaborators, and another could focus on clients or strategic partners. You can tailor your engagement strategy for each group by segmenting your network into their contributions to your relationship ecosystem.
- Revisit and Reflect Regularly: Your Top 100 list should evolve as your goals change. Set aside time monthly or quarterly to review and refine your list. Ask yourself: Are these still the right relationships for my current and future aspirations? Am I investing enough in these relationships to keep them strong and mutually beneficial? There is no shame in deprioritizing some contacts who may not be as relevant, for whatever reason, so you can prioritize others with changing circumstances.
- Focus on Depth, Not Volume: Consistent, meaningful engagement is the key to nurturing your Top 100 relationships. Reach out consistently—not just when you need something—and provide a unique value intentionally. Whether sending an article that aligns with their interests, celebrating their milestones, or simply checking in, small actions go a long way in sustaining strong connections. The thoughtfulness of your actions matters far more than its price tag!
Leadership in Action: Lessons from Relationship Builders
Great leaders are great relationship builders. They understand that their success is tied not just to what they know but to whom they know well—a byproduct of identifying, nurturing, sustaining, and capitalizing on their most valuable relationships.
Take, for instance, the late General Colin Powell, known for maintaining strong, authentic connections throughout his career. Powell famously said, “Leadership is solving problems. The day soldiers stop bringing you their problems is when you stop leading them.” His words underscore the power of trust, empathy, and accessibility in leadership relationships.
Similarly, leaders who excel in relationship-building go beyond transactional interactions. They invest in people, foster collaboration, and make others feel seen and valued. These are the hallmarks of a leadership approach prioritizing meaningful relationships over superficial connections.
From Relationships to Results: The Leadership Imperative
In leadership, the depth of your relationships propels you forward—not the sheer number of connections you accumulate. By focusing on your Top 100, nurturing those relationships with care and intention, and addressing blind spots in your network, you can unlock exponential growth in both your personal and professional endeavors.
The essence of leadership lies not in managing tasks but in inspiring trust, collaboration, and loyalty. Your relationships are the foundation of this influence. Start cultivating them today, and watch as they elevate your impact, vision, and success.