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Leadership Storytelling Is Powerful—But Not In The Way You Think

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Leadership storytelling is powerful. It helps us make sense of events, create meaning and connect with people.

But did you know that there are unproductive ways of telling stories? When conflicts arise, it’s natural and human to reach for these unproductive stories. In these stories, we are often the heroes and they do not challenge our beliefs. The stories of naive realism assure us that our perception of reality is the actual reality. Dr. Julia Minson, Associate Professor of Public Policy at the Harvard Kennedy School of Government and expert in the psychology of disagreement, says some of these unproductive stories are driven by a false consensus effect.

“It basically means that we overestimate how many other people agree with our beliefs and preferences,” says Minson. We tell ourselves the story that how we see the world is reasonable and sensible and so everyone else probably holds the same reasonable point of view. “You see a ton of it in politics. It’s particularly jarring when somebody close to you surprises you by disagreeing with you or by holding a different view.”

These conflicts are also common in the workplace. When we learn someone holds a differing opinion, we tell ourselves that the person is wrong, makes no sense, and needs to be fixed. When in actuality, the person has reasons for believing what they do and doesn’t feel broken at all.

orytelling That Builds Trust

In her recent study Personal Narratives Build Trust Across Ideological Divides, Dr. Minson and her colleagues demonstrate the kinds of stories we ought to be telling are the ones that build trust. Their study found that personal narratives that reveal vulnerability are the best at building trust even in politically charged contexts. These are not the stories we naturally want to tell people we disagree with. But Dr. Minson found “that stories that divulge an action or event that humbles the storyteller increase perceptions of trustworthiness by making the speaker appear vulnerable.” This is particularly important because to form meaningful, productive relationships with people who hold different perspectives, building trust is more urgent than persuading them to agree with you.

This is what vulnerability might look like in the workplace: A team manager is unable to persuade the senior management to purchase the new software that her team wanted for their department. Now her team is upset. As their manager, she decides to have 1:1 with each of her direct reports to share the story of her failure and show that she is still working hard to make things better for the team. Instead of hiding her failure or using excuses, she’s using this moment of vulnerability to further the conversation with her team and encourage collaboration.

In workplaces, Dr. Minson suggests, building this kind of trust through personal narratives is particularly important because it “may promote efficient collaboration within organizations even when disagreements cannot be resolved.” Here, storytelling is used not as a tool to persuade someone to come around to your beliefs, but as a way of building trust in a relationship even when there are ideological differences. When incivility in politics is trickling down into the workplace, it is particularly important.

Understanding Other People’s Stories

Beyond telling leadership stories that share vulnerability and build trust, we need to be listening and attentive to other people’s stories. Consumer anthropologist Gina Fong encourages her students and clients not to make assumptions about the people they don’t understand. “When we step into their world, it’s so much easier to understand how they make sense to themselves,” says Fong.

For one of her clients, a beauty product company, Fong literally stepped into the homes of women using the company’s home hair dye kits. By observing the women in their homes, she learned about the way consumers experienced the product — key factors that the designers had failed to realize because they believed they already understood the product and the consumers it was for.

For one, the hair dye solution was so slippery and hard to control, women were using rags instead of towels and dank basement sinks to dye their hair in order to avoid making a mess in their own bathrooms. This was a far cry from the salon-experience the product designers were intending and experiencing in their laboratories where the products were tested by professional stylists. Fong’s observations led the product designers to create a foaming hair dye that was much easier to control. When this new product was launched, it became a bestseller.

When we go out of our way to understand people, the pay off can be incredible. But in order to do so, we first have to resist telling ourselves those easy-to-tell narratives that devalue or ignore other people’s perspectives and experiences.

Demonstrate Curiosity Through Storytelling

As a consumer anthropologist, Fong has learned that understanding is possible only when, we practice:

  • Boundless curiosity, which she defines as “wonder without judgement.”
  • Eager listening. Don’t argue, sell, or teach. Instead listen to understand.
  • Profound empathy, which Fong defines as “understanding without an opinion.”

Dr. Minson adds that curiosity must be intentionally demonstrated. “The problem is curiosity is an internal mental state,” she explains, “being curious is something that exists in my head.” We can effectively communicate our curiosity and openness by making statements that assure the person we want to build trust with that we are listening. Do not ask accusatory questions like, “How can you believe that?” “Why are you mad at me?” Rather make statements like, “I want to understand your point of view.”

Learn more about how to communicate effectively when you have profound disagreements in high-stake situations from Dr. Minson and Gina Fong here.

The Takeaway: Leadership Storytelling Is Powerful

Business storytelling is a powerful tool that helps us understand the world and create meaning. But not all stories are created equal. To use storytelling as a tool to build trusting relationships we must remember these tips:

  • Avoid stories that only assure your perception and ignore or devalue different points of view.
  • Share stories that reveal your own vulnerability in order to build more trust. New to leadership storytelling? Find a storytelling course to help you practice your stories before you tell them at work.
  • Meet people where they are at — make space for them to share their own stories with you.
  • Demonstrate your curiosity to understand and listen by making statements that clearly communicate your intention.

When we take these steps to build trust through effective communication and leadership storytelling, we are practicing receptivity — openness to hear another person’s point of view — and receptivity is contagious. Dr. Minson’s research has found that when you take the time to listen and understand another person’s point of view, they will be more willing to return the favor by listening to yours.

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