Things are stressful, intense and challenging—and chances are, you’re looking to reduce your stress in whatever way you can. Luckily, there are a few straightforward ways to manage the mayhem based on science, best practice and what really works.
It’s critical today—as increasing numbers of people report they are stressed, fearful and even distrustful. And if you’re not feeling your best, you can’t be as present for others or achieve all you want in your work or your life. Learning to manage your stress can help increase your quality of life, for sure.
Stress is Widespread
Unfortunately, stress is rampant, and wellbeing has declined. It’s sobering that 84% of employees said they were stressed. And for Gen Z, 91% were stressed and 98% said they were burned out, according to a survey by Cigna.
Incredibly, 27% of respondents reported they were so stressed they struggled to function on most days, based on a poll of over 3,000 people by Stress in America.
In addition, people are overwhelmed and afraid. Fully 88%-61% of people reported they are fearful—of everything from information war and nuclear war to geopolitical and economic uncertainty. And 61% of people distrust leaders and believe leaders are actively trying to deceive them. All of this is according to a global survey by Edelman.
So how can you ensure that stress and malaise don’t overtake you?
How to Manage Stress
There are a few ways you can take pragmatic action—through your mindsets and your actions—to reduce and manage stress.
1. Understand and Reframe
We tend to think of all stress as bad, but there is actually an optimal level of stress. If you lack any challenges or new situations to face, you’ll actually struggle with demotivation and even depression—just as if you have too much stress.
The ideal is to have a healthy level of stress—termed eustress—in which you have just enough motivation to keep you engaged, interested and reminded of the important contributions you make. Positive stressors can actually help you feel energized and enhance your endurance, heart health and cognitive function, according to research available through the National Library of Medicine.
Your thinking matters too. When you define stressors as a positive challenges, your body releases chemicals that cause you to feel stronger and healthier—up for the challenge—by synthesizing proteins, rebuilding cells and enhancing immunity. This is also according to research in the National Library of Medicine.
In addition, the harder you work for something, the more fulfilled and rewarded you feel when you accomplish it. There is benefit in having to struggle, learn and strive.
It’s also relevant to consider the concept of post traumatic growth. No one is looking for hard times, but when you get through something especially tough, you tend to be reminded of your capabilities and of the people you can count on—and you clarify your most important priorities.
Take Action:
Whenever possible, harness your thinking and define stressors as important challenges that you can impact.
In addition, choose your words carefully. Talk to yourself and others using language that reinforces the positive elements of stress and your own empowerment. For example, you get to work through the problem, do all the things and meet the demands. Or you can tell yourself you’ll have a good opportunity to learn from the challenge, and you’ll create strong relationships with team members as you roll up sleeves together.
2. Build Your Resilience
Resilience is a muscle you can build. The more effectively you cope, the more you’ll increase your ability to get through the next challenge as well.
Resilience is essentially three things: 1) understanding reality, 2) making sense of it for yourself and 3) responding—to solve, survive or cope. You can keep informed about things that are going on, but also be intentional about seeking updates from all kinds of sources. Expose yourself to ideas that are different from your own and expand your thinking—and determine what it means to you and how you can take action.
Also related to resilience is challenging yourself to stretch outside your comfort zones: When you do, you’re more likely to feel happiness and wellbeing. When you stretch, you may fail—and failure is part of living and learning. If you’re not failing sometimes, you may not be trying hard enough.
In addition, research shows that you’ll be most highly motivated if you fail 15% of the time. Known as the 15% rule, the studies demonstrated that if you fail less than 15% of the time, you may stop trying because you decide you’re close enough to mastery. On the other hand, if you fail more than 15% of the time, you may decide you don’t have what it takes to succeed at that activity. But if you fail 15% of the time, you’ll succeed enough to believe you should keep trying—and fail enough to keep you coming back.
Take Action:
Focus on hope for the future, set your sights high and push yourself for new levels of achievement.
In addition, seek challenges both in work and in life. Offer to take on the new project or solve the thorny problem at work. Learn a language, do a tough ruck or take on a new hobby.
3. Connect and Care
Stress can cause you to focus inwardly and lose perspective. When you’re stressed, your vision literally narrows and you have less peripheral perspective. This is an instinctual response to help you focus when you’re in times of trouble. But a narrow view can also exacerbate your depression.
Focusing on others and the contribution you can make is correlated with greater happiness and fulfillment. We all have an instinct to matter—and when you give attention to how others are doing, what kind of support they need and how you can help, it’s helpful to you as well. Focusing on others expands your view and gets you out of your own head.
In addition to taking care of others, it’s also necessary to be sure you’re taking care of yourself. But too often recommendations about self-care are superficial. According to the popular press, you should take bubble baths and drink more wine. But these are pithy and potentially undermining.
Instead, take the self-care actions that will be most meaningful to you.
- Choose to be together with others or alone, based on what will energize you more. And if you choose to be with others, be sure they nurture and support you.
- In addition, choose to say yes or no intentionally. Get involved with the things that give you meaning and contribute to your identity in a positive way. When you’re doing things you love, even if you’re busy, you’ll perceive you have more time.
- Also choose to spend time or money on meaningful experiences more than things. These tend to be more correlated with joy, lasting memories and bonding with your people.
Take Action:
Focus on others by tuning in and being present. Also ask questions and then pay attention, listen and empathize. Offer support.
In addition, take care of yourself through the activities that mean the most to you.
Thriving Through Stress
Stress is a natural part of life. You’ll have ups and downs and there will be stressors for sure. But remind yourself that just because you face challenges, you don’t have to be overwhelmed or undermined by stress.
You can empower yourself to change your thinking and take positive action—for your own benefit and for the benefit of those you interact with.