Andy Molinsky is an expert in cultural dexterity, and his specialty is helping people get out of their cultural comfort zones. Andy is a professor at Brandeis University’s International Business School; his work has been featured in HBR, The Financial Times, The Boston Globe, NPR, and Voice of America. Molinsky and I spoke about his book, Forging New Bonds in a Global Workforce.
In Forging New Bonds, Molinsky shares that when working across cultures, you must find commonalities amongst team members. Molinsky shares that we can be obsessed over global differences and want to avoid making culturally ignorant social gaffes—however, we must not let that fear stand in the way of making connections. For team members to work productively across cultures, there must be a foundation of trust.
But what happens when communication goes awry and trust is at risk of being broken? According to Molinsky, if you are misunderstood—or stick your foot in your mouth—you need to find a way to pivot and move forward. Molinsky said to think on the phrase “when in Rome”—as in, now you’re here, in an uncomfortable situation. How do you move forward?
One of the first solutions that Molinsky shares is to focus on rebuilding trust. Trust is built upon three r’s: respect, relatability, and reliability. Show the other person you respect them. Relate to the other person; place yourself in their shoes. Finally, show that you’re reliable—deliver on your promises. These three r’s strengthen relationships for the long haul.
Sometimes, you just need to make an educated guess. For example, if you are working with someone in Germany who might have parents and an upbringing that isn’t German, you might not find the cultural characteristics that would typically show up. In the global world in which we work, we have a lot of different life experiences, which create a nuanced approach to how we relate and work with people. This then translates into a mismatched way of how we work and relate with people. That’s where things can short-circuit a bit because we can spiral into a place where we assume and focus on our misconceptions. We form those opinions that are misplaced. But as Molinsky shares, it’s a long-game approach you must consider. It’s about building long-term relationships, and you almost slowly pull the weeds from the garden. You can make an excellent guess and hypothesis as to how to work.
It’s important, says Molinsky, to be authentic to yourself. What feels good to you? How do you like to be treated? Small, meaningful actions can make a big difference, even across cultural divides. One particular action that makes a big impact is making small talk. Many of us don’t like to make small talk; however, Molinsky shares that making conversation is essential to finding a shared viewpoint with a colleague. You’re not trying to make someone else like you or trying to be more like them; you’re looking for similarities and common ground. Finding that common ground reinforces that both colleagues are on the same team and allows them to move forward together more productively.
Misunderstandings and mistakes happen in any workplace, but especially in workplaces that span cultures. However, you needn’t be powerless in the face of these seeming differences. Says Molinsky: you have the power, i.e., the ability to connect and work toward understanding. That understanding allows for a happier, healthier workplace and better work.