It took a near-death experience for Tory Archbold, the founder of the online community for women leaders called Powerful Steps, to fully own her story, and to share it with others. It was this process of learning to be vulnerable that unlocked her true impact as a leader, and attracted a community of like-minded women.
For Archbold, 50, stepping into her power has been akin to a heroine’s journey. In 2000, Archbold launched what would soon grow into Australia’s most successful fashion and retail publicity agency, Torstar Communications, where she helped launch big brands in the country including Zara, Neiman Marcus, and Nespresso.
“I said to myself, ‘I want to attract the world’s top-performing brands,’” Archbold recalls. “No one believed that I could do it. I was in my early 20s with no money in my bank account and no connections, but I knew I was going to create a business and a brand that would attract everything I knew I deserved, but most importantly, everything I knew I could create and build for other people.”
While she was building powerful stories for brands and living what looked like a glamorous life to the outside world in Australia’s media scene, there was a secret, hidden side to her personal story.
Soon after Archbold gave birth to her daughter in 2004, she split with her ex, who proceeded to stalk and harass her for more than a decade, threatening to ruin her business, showing up at her house uninvited, and sending hundreds of emails and texts daily to flood her inbox. Archbold recalls being overwhelmed and terrified, and says that, according to the police, she was one of the first women in New South Wales to be granted an AVO (Apprehended Violence Order) based on that kind of electronic harassment.
“I was at rock bottom, and no one knew,” says Archbold. “It wasn’t until my near-death experience that I was able to meet myself.”
A Life-Changing Moment
It was 2013 when Archbold’s appendix burst, sending her to the hospital for emergency surgery where she spent five days on life support and contracted septicaemia. She was terrified about who would raise her daughter if she died. When she was discharged from the hospital, the doctor told her she was lucky to be alive, and it would take six months for her to recover. “I couldn’t even walk up the stairs or go to the bathroom by myself,” Archbold says.
The near-death experience shocked her into asking herself some really tough questions, reflecting on how she got to the place where she was, and ultimately transformed how she showed up in work and life. She eventually went on a retreat in Bali to reflect and heal.
“I wrote down my story, and I recognized I was the ultimate people pleaser, which is why I was able to build a multimillion-dollar business, because I said yes to everyone else and never said yes to myself,” Archbold recalls. “The near-death experience was my game-changing moment. We all have that moment where our world collides, and the universe says to us, ‘Wake up! What are you doing?’”
Making space to reflect on and truly own her story changed the course of her life. “We never take the time to pause and go, ‘Okay, hang on a second. Who am I? What is it that I want to step into, and what is it that I want to attract?’” says Archbold. “Once you have clarity in who truly you are and in your message, you can better pinpoint your purpose.”
Rewriting Her Story
This reflection process translated into Archbold doing life differently. She scaled back her business to only a few high-powered clients, found the strength to fire her lawyer and represent herself in court in to win full custody of her daughter, and eventually launch Powerful Steps, her latest business to coach other women on how to learn to trust their voices, share their stories, and lead with greater impact.
“Whatever you’re up against, focus on the opportunity rather than the challenge. When you anchor to your truth, you come into alignment,” says Archbold. “If you’re in alignment and if you’re in your strength, anything is possible.”
Archbold says she was so scared of being judged until she really got to know herself and truly accepted herself. Once she did that, she started to finally share her personal story on her own terms in her work life and to the media. “You’re not afraid of being judged, because you know who you are and you know that any judgment on you isn’t true,” she says.
Owning her story rather than hiding in fear gave her back her power. And that’s when literally hundreds of women started reaching out to her across platforms to let her know that her story was also their story.
Sharing Who You Are To Create Impact
Archbold saw that her story was not a weakness, but a strength, and she could leverage her authentic truth to help others find their superpowers.
Catherine Fitzpatrick, founder of the social impact business Flequity Ventures, had been in corporate for about 20 years when she joined the Powerful Steps community last year to help her launch her own business. Fitzpatrick says she had played small in recent years, and believes many women may be reluctant to step forward with their stories in part because of sexism and for being criticized for putting themselves out there.
Yet Fitzpatrick learned from working with Archbold that how you share your story shapes the outcome. She used Archbold’s five-point framework, which is shared in Archbold’s new book Self Belief Is Your Superpower, to shape her story so she could become more visible and attract the right opportunities for her business.
“Tory helped me with the mental shift that I was no longer a corporate executive but a social entrepreneur, and walked me through the process of telling my story,” says Fitzpatrick. “I was nervous to put myself out there as ‘Brand Catherine,’ but agreed that people want to work with humans and you get better relationships and business outcomes when you do that. I want to change the world around domestic and financial abuse, and I believe business has a role to play. People won’t know about my business unless I talk about it.”
Within six months of Fitzpatrick sharing her story on LinkedIn and elsewhere, she accelerated her advocacy for corporations to change their financial terms and conditions so that financial abuse victims in Australia were protected.
“It’s just snowballing,” says Fitzpatrick. “So far more than 30 Australian organizations—including some of the biggest companies in Australia—across seven sectors representing more than 15 million customers have banned the misuse of their products and services for financial abuse.”
Identifying Your Three Core Values
Shez Ford, chief general manager of consumer at Allianz, partnered with the Powerful Steps community on a recent company activation in part because she believes bringing women together to create space to share and learn from each other is important. “It’s energizing and gives everyone more confidence,” she says.
Ford’s advice to women about owning their stories and stepping more fully into their power as a starting point is to be proud of who you are. “Also never, ever compromise on your values,” she says. Ford’s values are authenticity, integrity, and care.
The key to being true to yourself is to pinpoint your top three values, says Archbold. “If you stick to your values, they become a magnet superpower and open you up to opportunities in alignment with your truth.”
For example, Archbold’s three core values are passion, integrity, and delivery. “Passion for helping female leaders step into their power,” she says. “Integrity is simple: I don’t work with assholes. My third one is delivery, because you’re only as good as your last act. Then what I do with my values is my why. If you don’t pinpoint your values to your why in your story, it will be harder to attract the people and opportunities that are right for you.”
Paying It Forward
Jo Gaines, a former single mom based in Sydney and the head of APAC Asana, reached out to Archbold after reading the Marie Claire Australia article sharing her experiences with domestic abuse, and later became part of the Powerful Steps community.
Gaines recognized parts of her own story in Archbold’s story, and it enabled her to have the courage to share more from a leadership brand perspective. She herself had been in an unhealthy relationship and separated from her partner for the first time when she was pregnant.
Gaines shares that all throughout her career, she’s seen examples of women who don’t look like her. “I’ve seen women who are in the typical nuclear family set up with a mother, father, and two kids, and who have family and help around them,” Gaines shared. “I just haven’t had that, so I felt that it was important for women to see it’s not the only format that works, and you can still be successful as a single mother. As I moved my way up through leadership, I wanted to bring a different perspective, that diversity of thinking and perspective to any situation. I think it’s important in leadership to pay it forward and support people from all backgrounds.”
The power of sharing authentic stories rather than hiding them helps you realize you are not alone, because you’ll attract others who can relate to your experiences, and create a web of support and community around you that translates into making you a more connected and powerful leader.
“If women can just own who they are, without judgment and without thinking that they need to please others, the ripple effect that we can create around the world is going to be extraordinary,” says Archbold.