Perfectionism is a habit that many misguided workers bring to their quest for career advancement. They believe the self-defeating habit will help them climb the ladder of success. But truth be told, perfectionism goes against the grain of human nature, ultimately backfiring after clutching you in a stranglehold, injecting its rigidity into your bloodstream and choking the flow of spontaneous and flexible ideas. Perfectionism is driven by a fear of failure. And eventually, the avoidance of failure morphs into avoidance of success, truncating career trajectories in the long run.
Why Perfectionism Is Toxic For Your Career
Perfectionism prevented Lyn from learning to swim when she was a college student. She was afraid she wouldn’t perfect the sport on the first try and couldn’t bear the humiliation of failing. At age 35, she sits on the beach while her family plays in the ocean. Perfectionism sabotaged Sam’s career. Afraid to stick his neck out, he avoided sharing his ideas in meetings and was passed over for several promotions that he had his eye on.
Perfectionism is excellence on steroids. Excellence is achievable, but perfection is flawed thinking, impossible to attain. Think about it this way. Water is necessary for survival, but too much or too little will kill you. The same goes for excellence in the extreme—perfectionism—where balance is key. Research shows that perfectionism can be toxic, contributing to mental health problems, psychological strain, burnout and reduction in job engagement.
If you’re a perfectionist, your focus is myopic. You dot every “i” and cross every “t.” Your narrow perspective limits possibilities and constricts your career potential. You probably feel like you’re always failing even though you’re not. But because you feel like you’re always failing, you resort to self-condemnation, which leads to a cycle of self-defeating obstacles that backfire, slamming the brakes on your career.
Perfectionism is a relentless faultfinder, quick to judge for minor missteps, minimize your accomplishments or demote you to an underdog. It causes you to over focus on your mistakes, blinds you from seeing your strengths and talents, and prevents you from generating your best work.
Contrary to what your perfectionism tells you, your self-imposed standards far outweigh the expectations of coworkers and company leaders. You’re such a stickler that nobody—not even you—can meet the unrealistic standards. When you hold the bar too high for coworkers, subordinates or yourself, it creates relationship problems.
On some deeper level you might even believe that kicking yourself when you’re down increases your chances of success. But studies show that perfectionism keeps you in your comfort zone, which keeps you “safe” but prevents you from facing challenges and growing your career. It traps you in a self-made emotional prison, sabotaging your professional growth.
How To Curb Your Perfectionism
If you want to sidestep perfection, here are the steps to scale the obstacles.
- Loosen your grip on life. Ask yourself what you can do to view your capabilities in a more balanced light, set reasonable goals and stop trying too hard. Your best work isn’t perfection; it’s your best work.
- Embrace the fear of failure. If you’re a highly-functioning worker, you’re probably not a perfectionist because you know that success is built on failure. You strive for excellence instead of perfection and give yourself permission to make mistakes. When you’re afraid to try new or unfamiliar things for fear of failing, your focus becomes avoiding failure instead of the pursuit of success. The paradox is when you allow yourself to fail, you’re likely to make fewer mistakes.
- Replace self-condemnation with self-compassion. Berating yourself when you forget, make a mistake or fail at a task is like fighting the fire department when your house is on fire. Overly-critical self-evaluations reduce your motivation and chances of success. But positive self-talk and self-compassion give you the strength to get back in the saddle and recover more quickly from a mistake or failure. Practice pep talks and nurture yourself with kindfulness just as you would a coworker, friend or loved one after a letdown.
- Underscore your “tallcomings.” Perfectionism keeps you focused on your shortcomings, clobbering you with negatives and blinding you to your strengths. There’s a reason “shortcomings” is in Wikipedia and Webster’s but “tallcomings” isn’t. Perfectionists create a flawed view of themselves because they ignore their positive attributes. It’s important to have a critical eye, accept constructive feedback and recognize your strengths and limitations without dropping your head in your hands. Throw modesty out the window and make a list of your tallcomings to build up the truth about yourself so you can scale everyday workplace hurdles that are sure to come your way.
- Keep a wide perspective of your accomplishments. Studies show that a broad perspective gives you a more realistic picture of your goals and achievements. It allows you to build on the positive aspects of your career. Avoid blowing mistakes out of proportion; look for the upside of a downside situation; Affirm positive feedback instead of letting it roll off; focus on work solutions instead of problems; pinpoint every opportunity in a challenge; refuse to let one bad outcome rule your future outlook.
- Get out of your comfort zone. Instead of fleeing from the unknown or unpredictable, strengthen your resilience by stepping into the unknown. Once you start to stick your neck out and accept failure as an essential steppingstone to success, you become willing to go through the required hurtful steps (they’re called “growth pains”) to get there. Ask yourself what edge you can go to in your career and what limb you can reach to get to the fruit of the tree.
- Think of your missteps as your personal trainer. A slip-up can be a glorious teacher. Admitting your imperfections as part of your humanity, instead of striving for perfection, can actually improve job performance and enhance your career. When you open your heart and accept your vulnerability, you can be realistic about your goals and unlock your full potential. The paradox is that this approach makes you a more accomplished team member.
- Learn how perfectionism leads to job stress and burnout. Dr. Bonnie J. Mitchell, clinical director at Healthy Life Recovery, believes you can regain control of your well-being by spotting, stopping and bouncing back strong from burnout. She suggests that you recognize when you feel drained, disconnected or overwhelmed, with little energy for things. Set boundaries, learn to say “no” when necessary and prioritize self-care to prevent over commitment and burnout. And rebuild a healthy routine, incorporate regular exercise, nutritious meals and sufficient sleep to help restore your physical and mental resilience.
A Final Takeaway On Perfectionism
You won’t ever stop making mistakes, but you can stop denying them or covering them up. Choosing the path of humility and courage, instead of ego and pride, makes you a stronger leader, colleague and family member. Facing perfectionism helps you grow, engage and enjoy a happy and fulfilling career and personal life.