Regardless of the industry you’re in, chances are you’ve had that one co-worker who acts like a boss — or even more than your actual boss. It’s as if their job description includes giving unsolicited advice, making decisions for others, and just micromanaging every project.
Trust me, I’ve had my fair share of dealing with difficult co-workers, and it’s truly a test of patience. As annoying and frustrating as it can be, knowing how to handle them properly can make your work life much easier. You may not have control over their behavior, but you can choose how to respond. Here are some practical strategies I’ve picked up that can help you manage these challenging situations without unnecessary stress or drama.
Avoid If Possible
One of the simplest but often overlooked ways to handle bossy colleagues is to avoid them whenever possible. If there’s no need to deal with them, then don’t. Do not volunteer for projects they’re working on. If they’re trying to dominate during meetings, you can politely excuse yourself if the agenda no longer requires your presence.
Avoid engaging in small talks with them because before you know it, they’re already dictating how you must perform your tasks and making things more complicated than they need to be. If you have to respond to their messages, keep it brief, and only do so through your official work communication channels to avoid casual conversations and set boundaries.
Even choosing a seat farther from them makes a difference. It’s about developing a habit of keeping them out of your system to keep you more focused on your work. So, try to stay out of their way and protect your peace of mind.
Just Give In To What They Want
When you have a bossy co-worker, it’s easy to feel all sorts of emotions — anger, disgust, stress, exhaustion, you name it! You’ll even feel the urge to fight back and just say it straight to their face. But is it worth your time and energy? Sometimes, the best solution is to just let them be.
If they want to act like they’re in charge, just let them do what they have to do. Simply focus on your task, and do not get into an argument or be overly defensive. It will only create unnecessary tension and chaos.
Do they want to take the lead on your team presentation? Give them that moment as long as you’ve made your contribution. Do they insist on a specific format or layout? Let it slide as long as it doesn’t affect your work. Save yourself all the trouble by giving in to what they want, especially when it comes to minor details. After all, it’s not about who wins; it’s about doing your job right.
Understand What They Want
I know there are situations where you can no longer avoid bossy colleagues, so it pays to understand what they really want. Are they being bossy because they’re not familiar with a certain tool or platform?
Perhaps they’re overwhelmed with their own workload and act domineering as a defense mechanism. So, take a step back and identify areas where you can help them. Collaborate if you have to.
For example, you can say, “How about I handle the research, and you do the review” or “I can work on the data analysis, and you can finalize the report.” This approach can reduce tension and increase productivity. Whether it’s extending help or staying out of their way, determining what they want can help you avoid unnecessary work conflict.
Escalate Only If Necessary
First, talk to your colleague directly and calmly about how their attitude is impacting you. For example, say, “Sometimes, I feel like my insights are not being heard. I would appreciate having more space to work on my tasks” or “I feel like I’m often told what to do and it comes across as disrespectful.” Others only realize their behavior is problematic when someone calls them out.
If that doesn’t work, try to talk to other team members about it. But be careful of whom to share it with. Your goal must be to resolve the issue, not add fuel to the fire. Do your best to handle it internally with the team and not bring it up immediately to HR.
Consider HR as your last resort, only if things are serious enough and the bossy attitude is disrupting the whole team. As someone who has worked in HR, I’ve seen how minor workplace conflicts can be resolved at the team level. Premature escalation can blow things out of proportion. If you’ve tried different approaches and there’s still no progress, then escalate through the proper channels.
Work itself can get challenging, so we don’t want more reasons to feel drained. That’s why we should learn how to handle bossy co-workers strategically, whether by avoiding them if possible, understanding and giving them what they want, or escalating if the need arises. It’s about setting boundaries while staying professional. Choose your battles wisely, and be the change you want to see at work. You’ve got this!