Allyship, despite best efforts, often dwindles. Even the best of allies, those with great intentions, get distracted by life and business. To stay a better ally, serving those with lived experiences and identities different from yours, requires a strong purpose. It starts by asking the question: Why do you want to be an ally?
To hone in on your allyship “why”, consider these three questions as prompts:
- What is the cost of accepting the status quo and doing nothing?
- What do I hope my legacy is for future generations?
- What does success look like for my allyship?
When you and your team think about allyship, consider starting with these questions and craft a statement of purpose for your allyship journey. If you were to fast forward five years from now, what would you hope to accomplish as an ally? What do you hope would shift? What impact do you hope to create?
What is the cost of accepting the status quo and doing nothing?
The cost of accepting the status quo and doing nothing can be significant, though often hidden. It’s easy to accept the status quo as normal. Accepting the status quo does have a cost. First, it perpetuates existing problems and inequalities, preventing progress and improvement. Second, it leads to missed opportunities for innovation, growth and positive change. Third, it can breed complacency and apathy, stifling creativity and initiative. Ignoring the need for change can create mounting pressure that ultimately leads to more disruptive and costly consequences down the line. On a personal scale, accepting the status quo can result in a sense of powerlessness and dissatisfaction, both individually and collectively.
Jot down some reasons why accepting the status quo is unacceptable to you personally as an ally. This evokes pain and a fear of missing out (FOMO). When our brain experiences this cognitive dissonance between what we want and what is our current state, it generates more motivation to do the hard acts of allyship.
What do I hope my legacy is for future generations?
To define your legacy, begin by reflecting on your core values and what truly matters to you. Perhaps it is fairness, justice, empathy, inclusion or a vision of a better world. Consider the impact you want to have on the world and the positive change you wish to see. Think about the qualities you want to be remembered for and how you want to inspire future generations. Envision the world you want to leave behind and the values you want to instill in others.
Try to articulate your legacy in bullet points that capture your aspirations and hopes for the future. When we have a vision of what is possible, our brain is more motivated to achieve it. Sometimes called manifestation, by visualizing a future that is better, you will be more committed to the action steps necessary to achieve your hopes.
What does success look like for my allyship?
To define success in your allyship, start by identifying specific, measurable actions you can take to support historically marginalized groups. Consider what meaningful change would look like in your sphere of influence, whether it’s challenging discriminatory language or advocating for equitable policies. Reflect on how you can use your privilege to amplify marginalized voices and create space for their perspectives. Successful allyship involves continuous self-education and a willingness to acknowledge your own biases and weaknesses. Ultimately, success lies in making a tangible difference in the lives of those you seek to support and contributing to a more just and equitable world.
Questions are simply a guide to creating your allyship why. Your reason may be super clear. Some examples I’ve seen over the years include leaving the world a better place for future generations, alignment to personal values of fairness and justice, or not wanting others to experience what hardships you may have experienced.
To stay the course long term, it’s important to delve into your personal motivations for becoming an ally. Allyship is a journey, not a destination. Examine your own privileges and how they intersect with the experiences of historically marginalized groups.
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