This is your year to let go and leave behind what’s no longer serving you. Consider it a radical cleanup or reset of whatever is taking up energetic space in your mind, and as a result, in your life.
Let’s be real: there can be a lot to let go of. The need for validation. Criticism. Control. Expectations. Rejection. Regret(s). Anger. Negativity. Toxic relationships. Resentment. Comparison. Timelines (Perceived or real). Limited beliefs.
Letting go is a profound act of transformation. It’s a signal of surrender, which shows that you trust the process and what’s yet to unfold. Letting go also creates space for what’s meant to come in.
If anyone can offer concrete tips and words of inspiration on letting go, it’s bestselling author Brianna Wiest.
“We often think of letting go as something we need to do when things go wrong, like letting go of a failed relationship, an unmet expectation, or a dream that didn’t pan out. But in reality, letting go is a constant process and a skill. As we learn and move through life, we’re continually releasing what no longer serves us. And when we master doing it with the little things, we’ll be ready when the big things come our way.”
The author of books like 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think, The Mountain Is You, The Pivot Year, and Ceremony, Wiest applies a philosophical yet modern lens to explore universal themes such as the power of daily rituals, overcoming imposter syndrome, and embracing the idea that “our new life is going to cost us our old one.”
It’s noteworthy that Wiest is a former Forbes contributor, sharing her insights on emotional intelligence and millennial trends right here on this platform. Today, her books have sold millions of copies, regularly appear on global bestseller lists, have been translated into over 40 languages, and have firmly cemented their place in the cultural zeitgeist.
With a global following of over 1 million people on Instagram, Wiest’s poetic words often go viral on TikTok and Reels.
“I started writing about ‘letting go’ because I was the queen of not being able to let go of anything,” Wiest humbly shares with me over Zoom. Today it’s among the top questions she receives from fans, readers and her online community.
That’s the thing about growth: Once we become self-aware and do the work, we can learn the lessons, step into our power, and overcome our own mountains.
“Sometimes it’s about letting go of the expectation that you have to be a superhero when you can just be a human being, doing your best,” Wiest continues. “And I think everyone is generally always doing better than they think they are.”
Here are her 10 tips on mastering the skill—for whenever you are ready.
1- Replace Wanting with Surrender
Stop gripping so tightly. Tell life what you want, but let the universe decide how and when. Surrendering control opens the path for things to flow.
Let’s take Wiest’s 101 Essays That Will Change The Way You Think as an example. Her global success didn’t occur overnight—the debut book of essays took off seven years after being published.
“A big part of what worked for me was letting go of expectations,” Wiest shares. “I let go of every idea about how things should unfold—where the books would be published, the timeline, even what the books would ultimately become.”
The tighter the grip on the desired results, the more resistance is created as it signals lack versus abundance.
“When we’re in a place of intense wanting, it creates this vortex of not having,” Wiest explains. “When we’re deeply entrenched in this vortex of lack, even when the thing we desire starts to approach us, we unknowingly push it away. We have a way of sabotaging or thwarting it, because it feels so antithetical to the reality we believe we’re living in.”
2- Trust the Law of Gestation
Like seeds, some things take time to bloom. Don’t dig up the soil to check progress; trust in the growth that’s happening unseen.
“We’re able to let go because we say, ‘I’m committed. My heart is tied to the what and I’m going to get there, but I will completely surrender to life’s communication with me of the timing, the place, and the way it comes through,” Wiest asserts. “Because when we are too attached to the how, we get stuck.”
3- Know When to Pivot
Recognize when something isn’t working and be flexible enough to change direction and course correct. Failure is a redirection, not the end or the finish line.
Wiest shares: “Sometimes it’s not life saying it’s a ‘no’. It’s life saying, ‘the thing you want is that way. Turn right.’ When you’re done sitting with the disappointment, can you find a part of yourself that’s a little bit relieved? Most of the time, people realize there’s a small part of them thinking, I wasn’t 100% sure about this project or person anyway. When you tap into that energy, the doors open. Maybe you always wanted to pursue something different, or maybe this rejection is redirecting you toward something greater. And by greater path, I mean a path that’s truer to you.”
4- Release Perfectionism
Life doesn’t need to be perfect for you to move forward. Let go of waiting for “ideal” circumstances.
“It’s such an important reminder for my own self and for everyone—nobody in the history of existence was ever happy because everything was perfect. Never. That’s not what life is,” Wiest asserts. “And if you’re waiting for that moment where you think, Okay, I’ll feel good when everything is perfect, you will wait forever.”
5- Release the Need for Validation
You don’t need everyone’s approval. Decide whose opinions you value and let the rest go.
A mentor reminded Wiest of an important perspective: “Do you know how many negative messages the best athletes in the world receive in a day? Probably thousands. And if they listened to any of them, they wouldn’t be at the top of their game.”
This advice helped her shift her mindset. She realized that if she allowed every piece of criticism to consume her, she’d never reach her potential or accomplish her goals.
It’s a reminder of the strength that comes from focusing on our own path and letting go of the unnecessary noise.
6- Identify What Still Needs to Be Learned
Difficulty in letting go may indicate that there’s a lesson still waiting to be gained from the situation.
“I think that at some points, it feels harder to let go than others,” Wiest continues. “It’s often because there’s something that still needs to be learned or taken from the experience—a tool, a lesson, an aspect of our development that will be critical for us, as our lives go on.”
7- Keep Moving Forward
Focus on small, actionable steps toward growth and healing.
Use affirmations like, “Every day, in every way, I’m getting better and better,” to embrace incremental progress.
“The reason this resonates so deeply with me is that, instead of trying to fix my entire life at once, I focus on small, actionable micro shifts—things I can work on right now,” Wiest shares. “That brings a sense of pride and settledness, and before I know it, my perspective starts to shift. Sometimes, all it takes is doing one thing just a little differently than before.”
8- Allow the Process of Healing
Treat letting go like healing a wound. Over-cleaning and fixating can worsen it, while time and space allow it to heal.
“If you don’t feel ready, you don’t have to let go right now,” offer Wiest. “If you’re still angry or grieving, that’s okay. To me, that’s so indicative of courage, and so indicative of a strong heart. And when you’re ready, you’ll know. And you won’t know in the sense that you’ll wake up one day and say, Okay, I can let it go. But I think a lot of us get to a point where we say, Okay, it’s time to stop licking this wound, because by licking it or picking at it, I’m not letting it heal.”
9- Use Rituals for Release
- Journaling: Write all your thoughts down and then destroy the paper to symbolically release them. Try Kidlin’s law—it’s a problem-solving theory that says: “If you write the problem down clearly, then the matter is half solved.”
- Nature and Movement: Walk in nature, exercise, or practice yoga to help release emotions physically.
- Meditation: Center yourself daily to foster calm and gratitude.
10- Reconnect with Gratitude
Take a moment to recognize how far you’ve come and appreciate what you already have.
“If we don’t develop the capacity to appreciate and savor the little things, the big things don’t ever fully find us,” Wiest explains. “Because, like learning to let go, finding happiness, appreciation, and presence is also a skill.”
Trusting the process and its timing also requires self-belief.
“I would say to anyone reading—don’t take those leaps unless you have self-belief, because that’s what will ultimately get you to the other side,” Wiest emphasizes. “It’s going to be your own momentum and beliefs that lift you upward into your new life—the life that is waiting.”